in the end, all we have is each other

my friend, nikon d50 digital

His name was John.

my friend.

He'd beaten cancer once. Stopped wearing baseball caps to work. Gained back the weight he'd lost. Started smiling more.

Plans to have a child that had been stalled because of his treatments came to fruition and I first saw Joey on a grainy black and white sonogram picture.

John leaning over my cube, with a big grin on his face and introduced me to his 'peanut'.

I already knew the name they so carefully picked out years ago.

Something went wrong and John welcomed his child to the world hooked up to IV's.

I found out later there was question whether he'd make it out of the hospital with Joey and his wife.

but he did.

And he managed to see Joey sit up and smile. Dressed up for halloween. His first teeth.

John died on Saturday, with his wife at his side.
*

A few weeks ago, his wife contacted me and let me know that the next step was imminent. He was going home and would be made comfortable for the transition.

He wasn't able to have visitors so I let those that were close to him know that if they wanted to write him a letter, I would make sure they were delivered.

She told me later how much those letters impacted them both. How amazed John was at how much people cared-and the number of people that wrote to him- and surprised at how he'd touched our lives.
*

Sometimes I get hung up on what is appropriate for various relationships. You know, is it alright to ask an acquaintance that question? Where do you draw the line for work friends? Is it my place to get involved here? Will someone welcome being included or consider it an intrusion?
*

In the end, there are no lines. And how we connect doesn't matter.

Because all we have is each other.

Don't wait until someone's last days to let them know what they mean to you.

Don't wait to give that kind word.

Don't wait to ask about someone's day.

Or ask if they want to grab some lunch.

Don't wait to give encouragement.

Or let someone know they are heard.
*

And this isn't just about the people in our lives.

It's about us too.

How often have we felt fearful of another's success?

How often have we held back encouragement?

Is it because deep down, we really don't actually believe we create anything that's worthy?

Is it because we don't encourage our own growth and applaud our own successes?

Is it because we don't think that our expressions matter?
*

If there is one thing that I have learned through this loss is that all we have in the end is how what we create and say and do connects with others.

Our words. Our art.

We touch people in ways we never imagine.
*

We were all meant to shine our lights, create our creations, express our feelings.

Don't wait to let others know that their light brightened your day.

Don't wait to give the gift of your light to the world.
*

So next time the voices get loud or the fear getting darker, and you have the urge to shrink, to judge.

Stop. Breathe. Expand your heart, even by just one milimeter, with love.

because you matter.
*

Please don't wait until you are saying goodbye for your voice to be heard.