Dandelion seeds

I've moved...

2009-02-21T11:26:00.000-08:00

hola gorgeous souls.

for anyone who may have missed it or is new to this blog, just wanted to let you know that I've packed up and moved homes.

You can now find me over here continuing in my joy rebel antics.

I hope you'll join me!

creative sunday:: doing stuff that scares you

2009-02-15T12:46:00.000-08:00

fence, nikon d50 digital

It seems fitting on this last post on this blog (more on that later), that I was able to conquer two of my big creative fears.

The first is attempting to texturize photos using layers in photoshop-like I did in the photo above.

A friend of mine told me how to do this a long time ago but...well...it wasn't something I'd done before and because I couldn't picture how to do it in my head, it felt overwhelming.

My opinion on taking risks in art may be different than mosts. If I am overwhelmed to the point that I don't know where to start, trying to force myself to do it or just 'push through the fear' will just drive me away from it.

I get comfortable with smaller steps first. I DO something, even if it's not the project that scares me. In the doing of smaller steps, I gain confidence to try the more intimidating projects

In the example of the photo above, I got really familiar with the more basic editing options first. I got to the point where adjusting exposure and contrast, adding a border, etc became second nature.

And second nature means comfortable enough to get curious about next steps. And now that I have a confidence level in previous steps and a curiosity about next steps, I find myself motivated to work on those layers until I get it.

And so it is for art as well.

starting, nikon d50 digital

I've attempted mixed media before. Some forms I feel more comfortable with than others. Every time I've attempted a piece like this before, I haven't liked the results.

So, like with the photos, I kept getting comfortable with other mediums and techniques. I still think I have many more improvements to make with this method but I did it. I completely a piece that looked okay to me and that is a huge step.

stop and smell the flowers along the way, mixed media on paper

Look, I don't know if this method will work for anyone else but I would encourage anyone that wants to attempt a new art medium and is scared to try, don't beat yourself up. See if there is another form that doesn't scare you as much and get comfortable with it. You might find yourself motivated to step into new territory from there.

Which brings up one more point...impatience. It's getting to the comfortable part that I can get hung up on because I am impatient to get to the next step.

My minister said something about impatience last weekend that so totally hit home with me. She said that impatience is totally a fear based emotion. It says I'm afraid I won't get something I want or that I'll lose something I have.

yeah, wow.

That helps, ya know, when I start feeling the impatience now. I hear her voice in my head and take a breath and try to look at what the fear is. If anything, I at least pause for a moment before making an impulsive decision or start down the same negative thought pattern.

And that, my friends, is my last post as dandelion seeds.

This blog has been good to me and it will stay up in honor of the last three years of my journey.

But my journey has entered a new phase with this joy rebel thing and I would like to honor that with a new blog home.

So please join me over in my new home: brandi reynolds

That's me. No titles, just me.

The joy rebel-ness continues over there, starting with posting the second mission tomorrow.

There are also badges you can copy and link to this post.

See ya over there!!!!

my take on joy and grief

2009-02-12T18:04:00.000-08:00

evening, nikon d50 digital

I was going to do a post on the amazing bridal portrait session I had last weekend but that will have to wait.

The truth is I'm pissed.

I've been spending more time with John's wife and while this is a blessing in all ways, it also provides ample opportunities to embrace the grief I feel over his passing.

How can I look in his son's face, seeing John's shadow right there in his son's eyes and ever explain to that child how much his dadda loved him?

How can I tell him how courageous his mamma is just by getting up every morning in the house where his dadda passed and somehow managing to get through her day?

Why? why dammit???

Why is John gone when somewhere in the world a woman is being beaten, a child going hungry, an animal being neglected...

Okay, I know that last sentence is completely irrelevant but I don't care at the moment.

Several amazing souls have wondered how they can be a joy rebel when they are sick or going through a tough time.

I think on this journey we'll find together the answers that fit best for us but for me, joy does not automatically equal happiness. Happiness is an important component of joy but really, joy equals authenticity. I'm so tired of not allowing my full self to emerge. When I don't let the grief and anger and frustration that comes with every day life out, I find that I can't let joy flood in.

And I also can't find all the joyful ways to heal or provide comfort to myself or release the hurt and ugly if I don't acknowledge all the crap in the first place.

the joy will flood in. I have gained confidence in this over the last few weeks. The grief flows now.

If you feel so compelled, please say a prayer for a woman grieving tonight as she cares for her child.

*rock on joy rebels*

Joy Rebels:: Your first mission

2009-02-09T05:05:00.000-08:00

flare, nikon d50 digital

Alright rebels, your first mission is up!!!

How are you feeling? Bombastic? Energized? Or maybe serene...contemplative...murky.

We accept all expressions of joy rebellion here at joy camp. Remember, it's not about forcing happy, it's about allowing joy to flood in by letting all of YOU flood in.

And there's no better way to start that, in my opinion, by picking a rebel warrior name and mantra.

Now, my personal opinion is that both should either bring on feelings of enpowerment when thought of...or a fit of giggles. If you can somehow find phrases that do both, well then you are a rebel extraordinaire.

To kick the party off, I would like to introduce myself.

I am wild red star and I am a divine yes

rock on joy rebels!!!

joy rebel faq

2009-02-07T04:27:00.000-08:00

color pencils, nikon d50 digital

Hello joy rebels!! This will be a quick post as I'm having computer problems but I wanted to address some of the ideas and questions I've had about this whole rebel army thing...lol.

1. What is a Joy Rebel?
to me, being a joy rebel is not about being happy all the time, though happiness is a component of joy. Being a joy rebel means being your authentic self and making those life affirming choices that bring more joy into your life. It's also about having fun and being silly. It also means honoring all emotions. Having a bad day and making the choice to pound on a pillow and then take a bath if that's what you really need is about joy. It may not feel like it but I've realized that I can't fully feel joy if I don't fully feel the rest of it. But then, as a joy rebel, you get to decide what that means for you too.

2. What about these mission things?
I'll post them every monday. And just a warning: they will be pointless. They will have nothing to do with self actualization or inner growth or becoming a better person. They will be for FUN. However, my personal experience is that allowing that fun, that very real part of me that loves color and silliness and 80's tunes and playing air guitar to come out can shift something good and healing and beautiful within. My happiest times-the times I have been most at peace with myself, when I have been most creative-are when I am not reading self help books or 'trying' to be this or do that and just allowing my true self to emerge.

3. Can we have a badge for our blogs?
Yep! I'm working on one. Well, I will be once I get the computer problems straightened out. But this is also where I tell you that I will be moving blogs. Yep. Dandelion seeds has fulfilled it's purpose and I am honoring a shift in my life. This shift will be reflected in my website and etsy store, this blog, the art I make, how I do business, all of it. The new blog launches march 1rst and a badge will be included with that. This blog will remain up as while I'm ready to move on, I feel no need to delete this amazing journey.

4. Who can join?
You can. Hey, this isn't about creating some exclusive club with membership requirements. If you feel ready to live more fully in your life, have some fun and connect with others, then you are a joy rebel. Welcome to the rebellion, we have cookies. :-)

I love the questions and feedback and am always open to connect with others so by all means, feel free to add to them with comments or by emailing me at artist [at] dandelion-studios [dot] com. Having said that, until I get these computer problems straightened out, I may be slow in answering for the next couple of days.

May you all have a joyfully rebellious day and look for a post on monday!!!

I feel obligated to warn you that I'm gathering an army

2009-02-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

An army for a joy rebellion that is!!!

I posted the following invitation on a dear online community that I am part of:

your mission, should you choose to accept it:
To become a bombastic warrior chick (or dude), a fierce member of the joy rebel army.

your training: hand to hand combat against that greatest of evils: self doubt
Expert use of rampant positivity, disciplined funkiness and deploying radical self acceptance against all odds. Your training will come at great sacrifice. Negativity dealers will confront you, energy vampires will attempt to kidnap you. You will become vigilant against their attempts to seduce you.

Your duties: To employ your own unique brand of joy. Wonderfully awful art, messy love, spontaneous dancing, cozy cuddling, quiet tears, angry letters, epic poems.

*warning* You may experience brain washing as your heart expands and floods the inner critic sentry that resides in your cranium. Side affects are: ridiculous grins, toe tapping in public, enchanted cursing, imperfect magic and a slight pink tinge to your aura.

So I stand before you, oh potential warrior. Do you choose to accept your mission??

And people did. This thing sort of grew and has some really fun energy behind it. Enough to the point where we plan having actual missions. Fun stuff like writing 'joy' on the sidewalk or giving yourself a warrior name or leaving a love note in a library book or...well, whatever we come up with.

So much fun, in fact, that I thought hey, I'll invite the switched on humans that I know in the blogging community too.

What I love about this is..well, if I can be honest. It's not another self help thing, another 'to do'. must clean house. must read book on self growth. must fix me. Don't get me wrong, I have had amazing and wonderful experiences because of what I've learned in several key self help or spiritual books. I'm not saying that growing and learning aren't important.

But if you want to know the truth, I think once you've read a few books, been to a few classes or workshops, you start to realize that the basic principles are the same. This is a good thing. It means that sound knowledge is still being passed down and shared. Whatever the newest self help book is on the market probably has the same basic ideas as 'power of positive thinking' from the 80's and 'think and grow rich' from the 30's (?).

Is anyone else tired of beating themselves over the head with critisicm and fear and this list and that book and cleaning the house and saving the planet and getting a sale and getting published/discovered/written up/interviewed?

God I'm so sick of all of this. I'm tired of just trying so damn hard all the time and never taking time to appreciate and enjoy the life that I have now. The good now. The joy in me now.

The basics haven't changed.
listen to your heart
be kind (to yourself and others)
live in the moment
simplify
think positive
do good
breath
and my personal favorite: it's not enough to know these, it's time to live them.

So let's do that shall we??? Let's go have some fun.

I post weekly missions on the board. Of course anyone that wants to join the community is welcome to but I was also thinking I could just post them here as well (every monday).

Who's with me???

a joy dialogue

2009-02-02T13:55:00.001-08:00

*I met Savannah (not her real name) via an online community about five years. Her life story is one of amazing growth, healing and transformation and I am honored that she allowed me to interview her and share some of it here. I consider her a true joy rebel and example of finding the beauty and joy in life, pretty much against all odds. As a disclaimer, I will say that she speaks about childhood abuse and if you are particularly sensitive to that topic, I would recommend proceeding with caution. For those that are wondering how a story of abuse could possibly have anything to do with joy, all I will say is read on.*

1. For those that don’t know you, can you tell our readers a little bit about you-what you do, where you live, siblings, pets, blog name, etc?

I live in South-Western New York state with two cats, Weedle and Charley, who are spoiled rotten (just as they should be). I’m a graduate student in history of women, gender and sexuality at the local university. I’m originally from West Michigan, where I was raised with my brother and sister. My sister still lives in our hometown, but my brother committed suicide in 1992. Now, I have three separate families. My family of origin split in two. My dad and my stepmom and her four kids and five grandkids are one of my families. My mom, my stepfather, my sister and my two nieces are another and then I have a very good friend and she, her man and his two daughters are my third family. My blog is called “blooming into me” and it’s at www.savannah-faith.blogspot.com

2. Would you mind sharing some of your dreams and goals-what you’d like to do with your life, where you see yourself in five years?

I graduate in May so I have many dreams and goals for 2009. I want to move to Chicago and work in publishing. I want a good job with good people where I can be part of a motivated team. I want a great apartment. I’m currently in the process of losing weight. I try to avoid assigning a number to how much I want to lose this year, but I know it will be significant. For the long term, I want to create a loving home with a man and begin a family (either through natural means or through adoption). I really want the luxury of being a stay at home mom. I’m a feminist who believes one of the most feminist things you can do is raise the next generation.

3. You experienced a very difficult childhood-can you share with us and what issues or repercussions this has had on your life?

I was abused as a child. I was raped and beaten everyday until I was 18. The first time I remember being abused was when I was very small – 2 or 3 years old. I remember my brother touching me was when I was four, but it may not have been the first time – it is just the first time I remember.

A child of abuse doesn’t grow up the way other kids do. It’s not a linear progression. A child of abuse grows up in circles. While physically and intellectually I advanced in age, psychologically, part of me was still reliving what happened when I was 3, 4, 5, 12, 15….

I spent the first thirty years of my life running. Running from the abuse, running from myself, running from what the abuse said about me. I wanted to die. Everything I did was about bringing that wish to fruition. I smoked; I drove too fast; I dated dangerous men. I escaped through any means available. I lost myself in an addiction that grew from comfort. Many survivors lose themselves to addiction. Many end up in prison. I was lucky, my addiction was not illegal, was rather unusual, in fact, but it was just as obsessive, just as controlling as any physical addiction could be. I lost myself in daydreams and fantasies of the ‘80s new wave band Duran Duran (hey, I was at the beginning of puberty in 1984, when they were huge). Some people drink. Some people do drugs. I never did that. I never needed to. My drug was Duran. The lyrics and the fantasy I created around them kept me alive, but also kept me isolated from people.

Which was fine because as a child of abuse, I wanted to be alone anyway. If I was with people, if they got to know me, there was always the danger they would find out my secret. The secret was not that I was abused. Hell, in this day and age nobody makes it to 18 without some kind of trauma goin’ on in their lives. No. The secret was that I was worthless. I had to be because if I wasn’t worthless, if God didn’t hate me so much, if I wasn’t useless or crazy or a waste of everyone’s time, none of these things would have happened to me.

You see, it gets turned around. I wasn’t broken and wasted because of the abuse. I was abused BECAUSE I was born defective. I believed I was permanently broken. No one could ever love me. I deserved to die, but I wouldn’t die because God hated me and wanted me to suffer more. I was useless and worthless, unlovable, defective, innately bad. Nothing I ever did was good enough for anyone. I would spend the rest of my life miserable and unloved, with no one able to reach me or touch me or help me. These thoughts would repeat, over and over, in my head for hours. Sometimes I shut them up by cutting on my arms, or my legs or my belly. Sometimes, I cried so hard that the next day, my eyes were swollen and bright red because I’d broken every blood vessel around them. Sometimes, I’d cover my ears with my hands and scream into a pillow so no one could hear me because I couldn’t deal with their attempts to make it right when it could never be right. I believed God hated me. I used to ask aloud, “Why would he make something this useless?” I was trash and I knew I’d been thrown away. Instead of being loved and protected, I was tossed aside and left to fend for myself against a violent, dangerous apprentice sociopath in the form of an older brother. The result was that I went crazy. Abuse led to crazy, crazy led to driving away those who may have loved me, being alone led to misery, misery led to crazier. The abuse I suffered was the single determining factor in everything I did and everything I was. All of my thoughts, feelings and reactions were based on the fact that I was tortured. I cannot use enough words to express how bad it was.

I. Was. Alone. In. Hell. For. Decades.

So, I took razor blades to my arms. So, I overdosed on pills. So, I smoked if only to shave a few years off. Inevitably, it was revealed I did these things, and I was locked up in psychiatric hospitals more times than I can count. They gave me pills and group therapy and they stuck electrodes to my temples and zapped my brain with electricity in an effort to make it work. They forced me to accept their “help,” which I knew was pointless because nobody could help me. Abuse wasn’t what happened to me, abuse was what I was. And I would lie awake at night furious at them for trying. Don’t they know I’m broken? Can’t they see that? As I told my therapist so many times, you can’t fix broken.

And so it went, circles and circles for thirty years. At one point, I was diagnosed with five different mental disorders ranging from clinical depression to general anxiety disorder to severe personality disorders.

4. When did the healing journey start for you?

I started therapy when I was 12. I had another therapist when I was 14. A third by the time I was 17. By the time I was 18, I met the woman who would drag me through healing kicking and screaming for nearly the next 20 years.

5. Can you describe what your healing process has been like?

Slow. It was very slow, mostly because I’m stubborn and was convinced in my beliefs about myself, God, my family of origin, the world. But I’m also tenacious and I persevere. I didn’t believe my life could improve, but deep down, in a place I didn’t touch until I reached the nadir of my suffering, I really didn’t want to die. Yet, I couldn’t live as my life was. This contradiction – I don’t want to die, but I can’t live – pushed me through therapy for all those years.

It came to head in 2003. I had just been fired from my second job in two years because I was unable to function in normal life and I said, “Enough.” I went home, took a bunch of pills, called my dad to say goodbye and ended up talking to my stepmom. She is a social worker and asked me if I was safe. Well, I thought, I just took a whole handful of pills, so, um, no. She called the sheriff’s department and they hauled me off to the hospital whereupon I was committed against my will to psych hospital. I’d been in hospitals before. I knew how to play the game. I knew what to say to get myself released. I knew if I played along, they would release me in a week and then I could kill myself without any further outside intervention.

So, I’m playing the game. I go to all my group meetings. I participate. I say all the right words, “I was in a downward spiral”; “I really need help”; “I’m interested in any treatments or medications that you think could help.”

The hospital works with the local universities and a psych student had an assignment to work up a treatment plan for a patient. They asked me if I would participate and – being as cooperative as possible – I said, yes.

We met. She asked a lot of questions about me, took a lot of notes and went away to confer with her professor and my doctor. She came back a few days later and asked one question,

“Have you ever done any reading about trauma?”

What you have to know about me is that I’m cerebral. I’m a student. When I’m interested in something, the first thing I do is read about it. And yet, until her, NOBODY had ever suggested I read about childhood trauma. All those doctors, all that therapy, all those years, and a freaking student hit the nail on the head.

I couldn’t kill myself. All my plans went right out the window. Because I’m so stubborn and so arrogant about knowledge I couldn’t die knowing there was information out there that might help.

So when I got out of the hospital I read everything I could get my hands on about childhood sexual abuse, effects of and recovery from trauma, sibling abuse, and cutting.

That was the beginning of my true healing. In those books I learned everything I believed about myself, my abuse, my families, my world was itself a product of the abuse. My thoughts and beliefs were not unique to me; they were very common among abuse survivors. And knowing I wasn’t alone, knowing my tortured existence was a product of having been tortured loosened my stubborn hold on those false beliefs.

From then on, I was dedicated participant in my healing.

6. Has your healing process had a spiritual element to it and if so, can you share how your spirituality has evolved and what it means to you?

I always believed in God. I don’t know why, but I did. Both of my parents were raised Catholic and when I was little we went to the Catholic church, so maybe it was nothing more than childhood indoctrination. Yet while I believed in God, I also believed He hated me. And not passively. I thought God actively, passionately, viciously hated me. I thought I was born because it was easier for God to punish me if I were human.

Challenging that belief was a big part of my healing. Again, I read. At the time, I still identified as Christian and explored Christianity thoroughly. I was tortured by the question, “Where Was God?” Where was God when I was being raped and tortured and abused? How can a loving God allow those things to happen? Those questions created an existential crisis in me and I couldn’t move forward until I answered them.

As I struggled with God, my conception of a higher power changed. I couldn’t work with the male authority of my childhood. It was easier for me to imagine God as a loving grandmotherly type. A mix between the mother of the matrix and Tyler Perry’s Madea – warm, funny, wise, and feisty.

The more I studied, the more I moved away from Christianity. I studied Buddhism and Wicca and sought God through meditation and yoga. I finally answered that when I was abused, God was inside me, holding enough of me together so that one day I could heal.

Then, in October 2007, I went on a vision quest. I stayed up one night, all night and ended up staying up for nearly 40 hours straight, eating nothing, not taking my meds and reviewing every moment of the last decade of my life. In the midst of the journey I started seeing a shadow on my wall, the shadow looked like a bear. And then it started speaking to me. I could only explain it as a spirit guide. I found out later that spirit guide bears have the symbolic meaning of transformation. It was powerful, deeply spiritual and when it was over I’d made significant progress in my healing and moved forward seemingly effortlessly.

Since then, I’ve found God inside rather than outside. I have a much less structured concept of spirituality. I see God in compassion and kindness and ignore much of the rhetoric of organized religion. I see God as a power inside each of us, connecting us to one another, to the Earth, to every living thing. Consciousness and intent are spiritual powers I’m still learning to manifest.

7. Despite all that you’ve been through, I have seen such amazing healing, growth and transformation in you. To what do you attribute this transformation?

God and her emissary, the bear. Ultimately, I have had immense help from above and below and in between from a power I can only recognize as the loving, guiding hand of a higher power.

It’s also due to the fact that once I believed healing was possible, I wanted it. I’m still stubborn, but now I use that character trait for my benefit. I persevere because as bad as it gets – and there have been bad times since 2003 – it’s never as bad as it was before then when I was living to die. It’s also partly due to the fact that I found a treatment that worked wonders for me. EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is a therapy that increases communication between the two halves of the brain and works amazingly well in healing from trauma. In about ten sessions, I have gone from being overwhelmed by my abuse to feeling neutral about every memory I have. It’s nothing short of miraculous.

8. For anyone that may have also experienced abuse, do you have any advice or resources you can share?

Read. Read everything. Read books on trauma, sexual abuse, general healing. Never stop trying to find new treatments to help yourself. I’ve been in talk therapy since I was 17; been on tons of medications, had ECT (electroshock treatments) and EMDR. I’ve had more success with some than with others and you will, too, but don’t give up if one thing doesn’t work. There are always options.

9. What does joy mean to you?

I think a lot of people equate the lack of suffering with joy. I don’t necessarily disagree with that, but at the same time, there will always be some sort of suffering. Living a life means stress, headaches, grumpiness, getting angry, feeling negative emotions sometimes. In those times being joyful means choosing joy. It means allowing yourself the emotions, but knowing they’ll pass. It means seeking out positivity.

10. How do you connect with joy

Lots of ways. I’m finding a lot of joy lately in taking good care of myself. This goes beyond just eating healthy, drinking lots of water and exercising, to pampering myself – shaving my legs, massaging baby oil gel on my arms and legs after I shower, painting my nails. Finding new ways to enjoy being in my own skin.

I listen to music, read good books (I’m currently devouring Christopher Moore’s bibliography), and I play. I play a lot. I try to have fun with everything and I find ways to reward myself for doing the boring, inane stuff we all have to do -- little, mostly insignificant ways to reward myself. If I go to campus and study, I get a diet coke (which is restricted from my eating plan at any other time). I cleaned my house this morning (which I hate to do) so I went to the library and rented Desperate Housewives and I’m indulging in all the snarky, gossipy fun. I find these little things to make the obligations easier to swallow.

11. How are you a joy rebel?

I think it’s rebellious to be nice to everybody and smile even when you’re in a bad mood. I think it’s rebellious to take time for yourself. I think it’s rebellious to be happy when we are consistently told we should be miserable and scared (for one reason or another). I think it’s rebellious to love yourself and to let that love flow from you into every person you meet. I think it’s rebellious to have hope and to let yourself believe in magic. I think choosing joy at all is a rebellious act in and of itself.

creative sunday:: when art becomes play

2009-02-01T10:20:00.000-08:00

life is art mixed media on coldpress high quality watercolor paper, nikon d50 digital

another huge, HUGE benefit I've found from doing art every day is that the art becomes play. Remember when being creative and playing with color and thinking up fantastical ideas was just part of your day in the second grade?? It's like that. I have my 'colors' and they are just part of my day now, like brushing my teeth.

Previously, my art happened in spurts as I've mentioned. I would get an idea and maybe while creating that idea, it would change or expand but once the idea was out of my head in a way that I liked, I may not create for a week.

I know that for many following their natural rhythms is important and I totally respect that.

For me though, making art a habit has opened up to so many more ideas because after doing it every day, you run out of stored ideas and just start saying 'what would happen if...'

and then because you are so open to trying out new stuff, a line from a book or a design on a pillow case or a story you read online becomes fodder for your daily play time.

a bird sings, mixed media, nikon d50 digital

A friend of mine asked me how I get the art process started. When I would do it sporadically, I usually started with 'practice pages' until I felt comfortable with how the idea was coming together.

Since art is every day now, and it's all practice pages, I just start. The first thing that comes to my head. In a way, it's like one big art journaling project. Or doing morning pages. Just doing a brain dump and seeing what comes up.

I'm finding a lot of joy in what comes up. :-)

And for those following the super bowl today, I will close with these words.

Go cardinals!!!

ways to be a joy rebel, an unscientific experiment

2009-01-30T05:56:00.000-08:00

tori, nikon d50 digital

That sassy girl is a friend of mine's kid and let me tell you, she could teach us all a thing or two about being a joy rebel.

That isn't a pose-it's just her being her.

anyway, I've had several days of joy rebellion under my belt and I now give you my comprehensive list of confirmed joy rebel activities, to be changed whenever the hell I feel like it.

1. dancing around your living room to 80's music before you head to work. This only works if you REALLY dance like a total spazz-arms flailing, fists pumping, goofy ass high kicks that almost land on the floor because the floor is slick and you are wearing socks

2. wearing your husband's house slippers at work.

3. Leaving love notes in random places

4. finding ways to laugh every day

5. really listening to someone talk about their day

6. get really frustrated with a request at work and then decide half way through that you don't have anything pressing anyway so why not give yourself fully to helping someone out

7. wearing something every day that brings a smile to your face

8. not listening to what someone else does to induce joy and doing what makes you joyful instead.

how are you a joy rebel today???

mantra monday:: be a joy rebel

2009-01-26T15:44:00.000-08:00

buddha is a joy rebel, nikon d50 digital

so I've had this idea lately about being a joy rebel.

being a joy rebel, to me, is about loving life regardless of what the news says (or maybe ignoring the news altogether...something I highly recommend), and wearing what makes you happy and doing yoga in the backyard if you feel like and basically just daring to be fully, uniquely, wonderfullly YOU.

I have been LOUSY at being a joy rebel lately. LOL.

But I'm not giving up.

And in honor of the wonderful Jennilou's mantra monday, I decided I needed to create an affirmation card for myself-precisely for those not joy rebel feeling moments.

Also, as you can see, being a joy rebel is also endorsed by the buddha so you know it's an awesome way to be.

rock on joy rebels!

creative sunday:: art and self esteem

2009-01-25T12:18:00.000-08:00

As part of this experiment, I have been doing art every day. Sometimes it's in the girl cave, but often it's with a sketch pad, pencils and a sharpie in bed as I am winding down.

I have never really considered myself a drawer. A doodler, maybe, but no drawing talent. And I'm not saying I'm a great drawer now but I do know that I enjoy what comes out as I put pencil and sharpie to paper.

the dorsels above started out as an open swirly heart but I saw faces in the swirls and it sort of went from there.

Not sure where the story came from but I suspect it is heavily influenced by my love of the cartoon 'the snorks' when I was a kid. LOL

I've also been drawing lots of girls. One of them is named mattie and I'll be talking about her more at a later time.

She's just one of them though.

There's also this rebel girl

I think she's an expression of my band days and the very real part of me that loves the power of a base line, the strength of aching honest lyrics and explores her dark side a little bit.

What I find though is she's evolving. Cause I set up residence in the dark side, bought furniture so I could be comfortable among the shadows and had my mail forwarded. And was, not surprisingly, often miserable.

I can't take the drama anymore but still embrace the little rebel girl who likes to rock, I just think that you can rock joy too. You know??

and inspired by the delightful leonie I found myself getting out a self portrait. You can tell it's me cause of the orange chucks. :-)

mainly I find that by just setting aside time every day to do art, stuff that I didn't really plan and had no idea was in me comes up. Which is cool. I'm exploring new forms without TRYING SO HARD to come up with new ideas.

I guess I didn't really trust that I had much in me to say, and felt that I had to go outside for ideas and creativity.

Which manifests in many areas of my life, but seems to most loudly bang on the internal walls around art.

Doing art every day as well as my intention to follow my passion this year has brought into the glaring forefront my fears about my art and promoting my art and thinking my art is worth getting out there for. You give me a cause, or someone else's art that I connect with and I'll talk about all day.

But mine? Not so much.

and confronting these fears just really sucks.

Alot.

but I'm still making art every day and that's something. :-)

rock on, joy rebels!!!

trying to find my voice

2009-01-23T05:55:00.001-08:00

red shoes, nikon d50 digital

those that know me are probably snorting in derision at the title. I am not usually one that has trouble speaking.

yet as this year is turning my topsy-turvy and I find myself exploring my world and my art in directions I never thought I would, I find myself having a hard time articulating what's going on.

I also think that I may have put myself in somewhat of a teacher role when I wasn't ready for it, truthfully. I look back at previous posts and they seem to me to be speaking TO you, not with you. And more about sharing a lesson and not about the experience itself.

Does that make sense at all??

Regardless, I have decided to put myself in student role and it's one that I find foreign.

My life coach told me once that people who grow up like I did-not being given the opportunities to explore (we were broke) and often being told to figure it out on my own, often end up feeling like they HAVE to know everything.

Being uncertain is not something I'm good at. And I often feel like I am SUPPOSED to be a leader or an expert.

And I'm not. About a lot of things.

Yet I've had 30 something years to practice being in charge (or least act like I'm in charge). I'm trying to find a way to share it with an authentic voice among the stops and starts, unfoldings and internal limbo.

Please bear with me. :-)

There's a rainer marie rilke quote that I am reminded of today and I think it's as good a way to close this post as any.

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. "

kids, mommy wants to tell you a story about when she was cool...

2009-01-19T18:30:00.000-08:00

so I looking at performances of some of my favorite artists on youtube and for kicks, I looked up my old band.

This video is way after my time-we parted ways in early 2003 and the bass player that I was dating is also no longer in the band at the time of this records. But I'm feeling reflective and thought ya'll would get a kick out of a taste of what my life was like back when I was cool.

I would have been at the back of the theater at the merch table with ear plugs in my ears and trying to calculate when the show would be over so I could see how much sleep I'd get before I had to go to work the next day.

Show of hands,-who here can picture me in the middle of crowded, smoky club fending off groupies intent on hurling themselves at the members of the metal band that I managed?

:-)

I'm lucky to stay up past 9:30 these days.

rock on. \m/

Creative sunday:: be a rebel

2009-01-18T16:28:00.000-08:00

a few of my favorite things, Nikon D50 digital

I am having the hardest time getting this post out so bear with me.

I had a video all made and ready to go but there's something wrong with the sound and I can't seem get out in writing as I could in front of a camera.

So maybe I should just talk about what's in the photo.

The photo above shows a few of my favorite art tools lately. Fine point sharpie, mod podge (all purpose glue and finish) and a paper towel, dyed in watercolors.

I seem to use some combo of the three in just about every project lately.

And everything I want to say about them and my art journey lately just seems all lecture-y and forced.

So maybe this week's creative sunday will just be an affirmation.

I'm creating every day. Using a variety of different mediums. I'm letting go of convention.

And prescribed notions still held unconsciously of what art must look like and how it must be made and what an artist is are kind of falling away.

I'm rebelling against it all and loving it and feeling joyful in my exploration and to be completely honest, I think Suzie says it so much better here.

So really what I wan to say is yeah. What she said. :-)

Have a wonderful week my friends.

getting it out

2009-01-15T10:38:00.001-08:00

late afternoon flare
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

So I'm on an online community and someone posted something I was completely blown away by:

the feeling of anger is actully designed biologically to last only 90 seconds.

90 seconds

okay, I don't know about anyone here but I sure in the hell stretch that feeling out MUCH longer than 90 seconds.

But I've been choosing JOY lately and that means I get to ask myself several thousand times a day, how can I connect with joy in this moment?

the answer I usually get is to get it out.

this is not something I do naturally. I was raised, as I am sure many of you were, that expressing emotions-especially strong emotions-wasn't very appropriate. So I bottle it up, stuff it down and then blow up when my husband forgets to pick up his socks.

But it doesn't feel like joy to let out anger or frustration right???

It really doesn't. It feels weird and awkward and weak to open up that word document if I'm at work and let the internal diatribe loose (and then quickly delete the document) or go scream into my pillow if I'm at home and cranky.

While I feel better and clearer for getting the emotions out, I also often feel a little embarrassed or guilty.

except today.

I had to take boog to the vet today to get his teeth looked at and his travel crate is one of those soft sided, foldable things that lock into place. Except the locking mechanism locked on my pinkie and took off several layers of skin.

As blood started to flow, my brain-bless that jumble of wires, it picks stuff up quicker than I realize- jumped in quicky, how can I connect with joy in this moment?

the answer: yell as many obscenities as you can, as loudly as you can RIGHT NOW.

*&%$#@$%*&!@#!!!!!$%^!!!&*%#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And what I thought after that was, man, that felt GOOD.

But I still had the boog to load into the car and blood now smeared across my pinkie that I needed to wash up so it wasn't until I was in the car and on way that I realized, hey, I've already forgotten about the incident.

No lingering embarrassement or guilt.

just let the anger and shock flow and now on with the day.

cool.

So...I highly recommend loud cursing as a path to joy. :-)

seriously though, I realize how many times I've stopped joy just because I didn't feel I had an avenue to release anything else. And as much as I am sometimes embarrassed by my temper, it's there and it's part of life so if I can learn to just let it express as it needs to, I get to let joy back in that much quicker.

And even find some joy in expressing mad and delicious curse words. :-)

creative sunday:: a word on art

2009-01-11T18:11:00.001-08:00

love:: 09/365
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

I don't know if this will be a regular thing but I'd like to put aside one day a week to talk about art and my experiences with it.

the above photo is part of my art space, dandelion studios, also known as the girl cave. When my husband and I moved into our home, the previous owners had converted the garage into a media room. This became my husband's domain, soon dubbed the man cave as it's dark and filled with electronic gadgets.

Since my art space is my domain, it became the girl cave and it is very similar to the man cave except it's pretty. And clean.

Anyway, if I had one piece of advice on art, it is this: you are going to make stuff that sucks.

Okay?

You are going to try something and just HATE how it turns out. Or almost think you have it and try to add one more thing to it and completely mess it up. You're going to tear something you didn't want torn and go too far with the scissors and get all the way through something and then decide the color combo isn't right.

I think if we can just accept that truth, look it in the face, the fear might move aside enough to try something new.

And then of course, the trick is to keep trying. Because you will have successes and it's those that will motivate you to continue and build your confidence as an artist.

On another note, as I've mentioned in the last few posts, I am taking a deeper and more careful look at my own art journey. And since I have dedicated a significant part of my blog presence to supporting and encouraging the community via commenting and such, I wanted to give you guys a heads up. If you see less of that, please know that I am no less supportive of this amazing community as I focus more of my time on study and refinement of my art and business.

I hope you all had a wonderfully fulfilling weekend~

results are in:: I choose joy

2009-01-09T10:53:00.001-08:00

I see you
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

(click on image for larger view. Do you see me??)

Okay, first the results of the survey that many of you took. Bless every single person that took the survey and commented and just gave support. Ya'll rock.

Percent of total answers by each option. If there is no percent by an option, then no one picked it:

If you have bought an art piece from me, what prompted you to purchase it?
-It spoke to me and the price was right! 25.0%
-It spoke to me and I would have bought it even if it was a hundred million dollars 75.0%

If you aren’t interested in buying my art, do you mind sharing your reasons?
-not my thing dude 40.0%
-I like it but the price isn’t right for me 20.0%
-I like it but it’s not quite the right color/size/image/saying that I was looking for 40%

if you are interested in my art but haven’t bought a piece, do you mind sharing your reasons?
-times are tough, man. No extra dough for purchases 50.0%
-I keep meaning too!!! 25.0%
-I don’t have a method of/don’t like paying electronically 25.0%

Why do you visit my blog?
-you inspire me 92.3%
-you crack me up
-it’s like watching a train wreck, I just can’t look away
-you comment on my blog so I feel obligated to comment on yours 7.7%

(to whoever admitted to commenting on my blog because I do theirs...bless your heart. Please know that I truly would only want you to comment if you feel called to so if you don't feel called to-it's okay not to. )

What is your favorite type of art?
-photography 30.8%
-mixed media 46.2%
-painting 23.1%
-charcoal
-those cheesy 80s prints you see in mcdonalds

If you like the blog, what do you like most?
-the photos
-the art
-the writing 35.7%
-I think every morsel of it is sheer perfection 64.3%

anything you’d like to see more of??
-your dogs are the greatest creatures ever. You should write about them every day 7.7%
-free stuff.
-articles on your art process 53.8%
-booger jokes
-relationship stuff. Your husband can’t possibly be that patient with you 15.4%
-photography 23.1%

(no one wants free stuff? I'm shocked!)

would you be interested in an e-course on creative journaling?
-hell yes I would 78.6%
-um. No. 21.4%

A fellow blogger emailed me asked me some very important and necessary questions: why do I make art? Is it just for the money?

I thought about that and came to the conclusion that I make art because I need it like I need breathing. I attempt to sell my art because I'd love to see those creations go out into the world and impact someone the way making them impacted me. AND to make money.

I can do the first without the second. That was a big realization for me. That honestly, I don't have the same need within me to sell my art as make it and that helped me gain some perspective on the matter.

Because I can still share my art and I can still spread joy without being an independant entrepenuer-and let's face it, it's not in the cards for everyone to be one.

I choose joy.

I choose to take actions that fill me up with joy and goodness. I choose to giggle and create and connect with you guys and have fun.

Lately, trying to sell stuff has felt like banging my head against a wall and I am no longer willing to keep inflicting the pain. This is not to lay blame on anyone or throw a tantrum-just the truth.

I'm not quite ready to give up on this shop though so I've decided to give it this year to see how it can grow. I truly think there is joy here if keep following my heart and making those joyful choices. If after a year I still don't see growth, well then I trust that this experiment was a necessary step on the path of joy and that other opportunities will unfold.

And I resonate with many of your answers above. I've long thought about how to talk about my art process and I think I'd like to do some videos. Considering that two of the clearest answers above were that you'd like to read more about my process and see an e-course on creative journaling, it seems we are right in line with each other's thinking.

I'm a lover of mixed media as well and am finally creating pieces that I don't think suck so you'll be seeing more of those soon.

And lastly, for anyone that would like to buy art but don't have or don't like to use electronic payment forms, I now accept checks and money orders through etsy. If you pay in those terms, I will ship the piece once I receive payment.

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend~

Ma’am we regret to inform you your humor has been kidnapped by an angst ridden teen

2009-01-07T10:36:00.001-08:00

Does anyone other than me ever feel this way???

Always, always when I start to feel overwhelmed and entertain thoughts of chucking it all and moving to Tibet, contemplation gives me the same answer. This is supposed to be fun.

Oh.

Yeah.

Thanks for reminding for the 900th time.

So I’ve had a few days to wrestle my sense of humor out of the cold dead grip of that teenager that lives in my brain. You know the one. She is prone to dramatic gestures and gloom and doom proclamations that no one loves her and she’s going to the garden to eat worms.

Or maybe that’s just me.

The conclusion I’ve come to is that there’s this thing on my brain that I haven’t wanted to talk and I just need to lighten up about it and spit out.

I want to make more money at this art thing.

And right now, I’m not making a ton of sales.

Now, I realize that I may have just committed some blogger taboo because I NEVER see this subject being broached on other blogs.

I also want to clarify that this is not about being ungrateful for those that take the time to read and support my journey, or purchase an item or attend a workshop.

Are you kidding?? I freaking love that!!

And I would like that to grow.

I would like to continue to inspire and be inspired, and to meet new people and make new connections and spend as much time as possible creating and expressing stuff that truly brings a little joy to someone’s day as so many have and do bring joy to mine.

I would like to do that abundantly, as I would wish for any artist to have abundance.

And I don’t expect you to figure that out for me.

BUT…because I think it would be fun and I would truly like to get your feedback as you are a kickass bunch of folks, I created a little survey

it doesn't require you to give a name or anything.

And thank you.

If anyone feels really offended by this post…well…I kinda get it. And even though I feel good about my expression, I’m open to talking about it. You can email me at artist [at] dandelion-studios [dot] com.

2009:: five days in review

2009-01-05T04:09:00.001-08:00

spread love like dandelion seeds
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

Here's the thing about words of the year...once you put the intention out there, the universe responds in ways you don't expect.

I found last year that I really enjoyed this process because my life unfolded in such amazing ways that I never would have thoughts to pick for myself.

And now, five days into 2009-the year of passion-I already find myself in turmoil (in a good way).

I really thought that I had figured out the road I was on artistically.

Now I am questioning everything. I am questioning the type of art I make and why I make it. I am questioning why I give workshops and what kind.

In fact, I emailed a friend yesterday and said I was a step away from taking it all down-the website, the flickr page, the blogs, the projects and seeing what stuck around in the aftermath.

But I've done this before and it's been about fear of the next step and sabotage and have ended up regretting having to start over again so as much as I just wanted to slash and burn my online presence, I knew enough to reach out first and get a reality check.

Fortunately, my friend is a good friend and while she's my biggest cheerleader, she also is not one to just blindly support to any whim I throw at her. She asked me the questions I needed to think about and gave me her perspective and offered support the loving no-nonsense way of hers.

So I'm still here...lol.

But changes are a'coming.

For now, until I get more clear on the direction I want to take (as I am still feeling muddled and confused), the workshops are temporarily suspended.

The etsy shop may be getting reworked.

hell, who knows, the whole damn thing may get reworked.

But I want you guys to know that the idea of taking down this blog and three years of connections and stories and friends actually made me a little sick to my stomach.

you guys really are the best.

I'll keep you posted.

much love~

2008, its been real

2008-12-31T13:50:00.001-08:00

mixed media, a window, a buddha and an altar
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

the year started with a a meltdown and ended with puking.

There were buckets of urine to clean and grief, the slow journey of grief.

But seriously, enough of about that. Each year, each period in our lives are going to have those broken and befuddled moments that seem to stretch for centuries.

Even in those broken times, I have learned, are beautiful mysteries and delicious unfolding if only we keep our eyes open.

What this year has been for me mostly is joy and wonder and discovery. I found my amazing life coach and an equally amazing friend.

I created and threw stuff out and created and got frustrated and created and fell in love with my creations. More than anything 2008 was the year I finally called myself an artist and cradled that knowing close to my heart.

she decided to follow her heart instead

that's what the creation in the above picture says.

and that's what this year has been for me mostly.

I step into 2009 with love as an even bigger, brighter focus.

May your celebration tonight be with all your clothes on and no vicious hangovers tomorrow. :-)

2008, I bid you a fond farewell!!

a square peg in a round hole:: mantra mondays

2008-12-29T14:13:00.001-08:00

square peg
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

click on image to enlarge and see affirmation.

started by the fabulous Jennilou over at trinket treasury.

puking and positivity, a christmas story.

2008-12-27T07:20:00.000-08:00

image courtesy google

A shift happened.

I'm still sort of incredulous.

Both my husband and I caught a stomach virus over the holiday. He got it first on the 23rd and was unable to travel with me to my parents for christmas.

The plan was for me to go up on christmas eve and come back late afternoon on christmas day so we could have some semblence of christmas together.

Then I got the virus and right after a delicious christmas lunch, promptly experienced various and violent methods of bodily evacuation (if you get my drift). This lasted for hours. There was no traveling back to see the hubs in the state I was so he spent christmas day by himself.

Back at my parents house, I was covered head to toe-wool socks, pj bottoms, sweatshirt and buried under three blankets and still couldn't stop shivering in between unpleasant bouts in the loo.

sounds like hell doesn't it?

It was. But it wasn't.

I have long wondered when all the work I do-the affirmations and prayers and meditations and reading and journaling-will become second nature.

It happened this christmas.

Sick and shivering, I still knew that it would pass quickly. I was grateful that even at 2pm on christmas there was something open for my dad to get me immodium and gatorade. I understood how easily I had it compared to many impoverished parts of the world that are without clean water or medical supplies, turning what was a terrible inconvenience for me into something potentially life threatening.

This wasn't about pretending everything was hunky-dory when it wasn't. This wasn't trying to reframe the situation with a quote like 'I am easily releasing the negative in my life'.

In fact, the only coherent thought I had for several hours was uhhhhhhhhhhh.

I think positivity as a lifestyle has several layers.

First for me was to turn away from letting one negative thing ruin my day

Second was seeing the good in a bad situation (like my divorce).

Third was gratitude journaling (something I still do to this day) that allowed me to focus on all the wonderful things in my life (that are often taken for granted).

Fourth was not even seeing that one thing in my first point as negative but just as one thing that happened.

And now this next unfolding for me, where positivity and gratitude are just part of the internal landscape, not something to be searched for or worked towards.

It's not about trying to sugar coat a situation. Or turn it into something it's not.

Maybe this is what the buddhists talk about with allowing. When you just accept things as they are, not as the stories we layer on top of them, then not many things are really bad or wrong, they just are. And for me, when I see things as they are, I find that many more events, people and things in my life really are beautiful.

My christmas wasn't ruined, it just changed and we celebrated in different ways for different reasons, like that first glass of cranberry juice (with ice) that I drank that next morning. Heaven, sheer and utter heaven. :-)

So...how was everyone else's holiday???

a merry christmas to all....

2008-12-23T05:23:00.001-08:00

what? you've never seen
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

"Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind"-Kris Kringle

May your holiday-whichever holiday you celebrate-be filled with joy, light, loved ones and peace.

May you experience laughter and connection.

May you enjoy wonderful food, in a safe and comfortable environment.

May you delight in the color and lights of the season.

May you know you are loved and valuable.

May you find wonder and magic around every corner.

May your giving be heart-filled and abundant and may your receiving be the same.
*
The hubs and I will be traveling tomorrow to see my parents for a few days. While there, we'll decorate the tree, eat chocolate pie and rip open wrapping paper with abandon. We'll watch movies and tell stories amidst the glow of christmas lights. Maybe we'll build a fire.

Always, we'll have love.

May you have the same~

*namaste and peace on earth*

an anniversary of an entirely different sort

2008-12-20T06:56:00.000-08:00

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated”-Gandhi

December 21rst, 2007

December 20th, 2008

I'm not going to lie, those first two weeks with her were hell. She had to be seperated from our other dog because her mange was contagious, a fact she protested loudly and constantly. And while she loved her crate (in fact, she spent the first three days curled in a corner of it), we couldn't put her in it and close the door (in hopes she would settle down) because every time the door closed, she freaked out.

She didn't mind us being around but didn't like us getting too close. I think I brought home 10 different bottles and prescriptions from that first vet visit.

Clearly she wasn't housetrained so I woke up every morning and cleaned up a river of urine and came home ever day from work to another one. As bad as she looked in that first photo, she looked worse in person-and then looked even worse than that once she got her first bath and the prominence of her poor little bones were brought more sharply into focus.

The next few months after that were lessons in patience as we slowly started training her and socializing her and helping her heal from her myriad of ailments. We went to the vet 6 times in 3 months.

Despite all that I think there are those that would say she is a miracle.

And I would agree with them.

I am realizing that my definition of miracle is changing. I used to think that miracles were what you'd read about in stories and in the bible. Abracadabra, you are healed (rich, levitating, whatever)! Just like that! Okay, let's go get some lunch!

Because that was my definition of miracles, I didn't think they really existed. I mean, maybe in tibet or something but certainly not in my world, in my time.

But she is a miracle. One that took a tremendous amount of effort and investment, one that took time and patience and work. But one just the same.

Which means we are capable of creating miracles every day.

Think about that. YOU can create a miracle, heal a heart, change a life, shed the past, create something amazing as long as you put in a little elbow grease and patience.

Isn't that amazing???

YOU are amazing and I am so grateful to the soul that came into our lives to help me see that-in myself, in her and in others.

Happy anniversary Keely. We love you.

random loveliness

2008-12-17T10:18:00.001-08:00

it matters
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

*this beautiful plaque done by the amazing sorrow. All proceeds from her shop go to support amazing cause. That's right-this loveliness and you do good in the world.

*several people have asked if I have considered making my creative prayer journaling workshop into an e-course. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to explore that option and be supported. Thank you!!!!

*Beckoning of the Lovely. Did I tell you I'm an ambassador of the lovely?? Well I am. :-) It was either that or start stalking Amy Krouse Rosenthal because she's so awesome. I would be a very polite stalker though.

*this post from the girl that cried epiphany.

*on my way home, I take an exit off the highway and the access road slopes down so that it is below the highway. It is lined with trees. In the late afternoon sunlight, the shadows of passing cars on the highway above dance across the leaves of the trees, performing a shadow ballet.

It is moments like that when I truly see know the world is beautiful, despite what the major news channels try to tell us.

what is lovely in your world today??

dance confidently in dreamland

2008-12-13T13:42:00.001-08:00

dance confidently in dreamland
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

I wrote recently about wanting to encourage and support others. And while I am still not sure how this will show up within my art business, I do know that I am loving my new (and I certainly think) encouraging workshop!!!

Inspired by conversations with god and the red book {and thank you Melissa for affirming for me that I really, really needed to get that book!}, I have developed something that I call creative prayer journaling.

I believe that our thoughts and feelings are creative-a way of sending messages, praying, to the universe. I don't know about any of you but I often felt at the mercy of negative or fearful thoughts. I developed this method as a way to proactively turn scary and unsure thoughts into amazing positive affirmative prayers using a variety of art mediums and techniques.

I have always found for myself personally that adding action steps to my thoughts and feelings~like painting, writing, collaging, etc~adds power to those thoughts and feelings.

So that's what this workshop is about~adding fuel to your creative fire in a positive and impactful way.

And fun too. :-)

You can find view my upcoming upcoming schedule for dates and times.

And...for those of you that are not in the dallas area, I have been encouraged (yah encouragement!) by the lovely Savannah to look into creating an e-course.

I am not sure how I am going to do that yet...lol. But, I'm working on it!!! (any suggestions???)

I'll keep you all posted here and through my monthly-ish e-letter.

Much love and blessings, my friends. I am truly blessed by this community.

*namaste*

the obligatory about me post

2008-12-10T18:48:00.001-08:00

I've only had this blog for three years...I guess it's about time.

:-)

Seriously though, I feel so blessed to be making new connections (thank you again Christine Kane!) and deepening existing connections.

And if you are new to this blog, you just got hit with something pretty heavy.

It's what's going on in my life right now and I am honoring that.

But I would like to share more.

So...

My name is Brandi. I consider dr pepper a reason to get up in the morning.

That's me with miss wiggle butts, Keely. She's my smooshy girl. Keely was severely neglected when we got her (it's been almost a year now!) but has thrived and we're thrilled with the progress she's made.

She joined our little family consisting of me, my husband Jason and our boog, Donnelly. We live in Grapevine, TX-which is a suburb of Dallas.

That's the boogs and his dad. They're best friends.

Jason and I adopted boog from weimaraner rescue (Keely came from a shelter).

The 'kids' are pretty much our life. We spend a ridiculous amount of time on belly rubs and shopping for new toys that they'll ignore in favor of our shoes, pieces of wood, boog's blanket (he insists it's not a blankie) and plastic water bottles.

Jason and I met five years ago-2003- in a bar. It took him a week to call me, something I still haven't decided to let him live down. We got serious pretty much immediately and after four years of dating were married under a tree in a beautiful ceremony we clearly didn't take that seriously.

photo courtesy Marc Oxford

We love to camp

and constantly make each other laugh. We share a passion for photography, movies and the outdoors...and really lame jokes.

When not out walking the dogs, I work in a cubicle at a creative company and give my boss a hard time.

I'm a big fan of mother earth-especially trees (love what you've done with the place dahling), creative prayer journaling, backyard exploring and cookies for breakfast. My idea of a good time is going to the library.

I also am a growing artist and photographer.

I write and share my art because well...I don't seem to have a choice in it really. I kept trying to play small and my soul kept smacking me upside the head and giving me the young lady talk.

Anyway, it's nice to meet all of you. Really. We should all get together for guac and chips at Ana Mia's. We'd have a blast, I'm sure.

~much love

in the end, all we have is each other

2008-12-06T18:27:00.000-08:00

my friend, nikon d50 digital

His name was John.

my friend.

He'd beaten cancer once. Stopped wearing baseball caps to work. Gained back the weight he'd lost. Started smiling more.

Plans to have a child that had been stalled because of his treatments came to fruition and I first saw Joey on a grainy black and white sonogram picture.

John leaning over my cube, with a big grin on his face and introduced me to his 'peanut'.

I already knew the name they so carefully picked out years ago.

Something went wrong and John welcomed his child to the world hooked up to IV's.

I found out later there was question whether he'd make it out of the hospital with Joey and his wife.

but he did.

And he managed to see Joey sit up and smile. Dressed up for halloween. His first teeth.

John died on Saturday, with his wife at his side.
*

A few weeks ago, his wife contacted me and let me know that the next step was imminent. He was going home and would be made comfortable for the transition.

He wasn't able to have visitors so I let those that were close to him know that if they wanted to write him a letter, I would make sure they were delivered.

She told me later how much those letters impacted them both. How amazed John was at how much people cared-and the number of people that wrote to him- and surprised at how he'd touched our lives.
*

Sometimes I get hung up on what is appropriate for various relationships. You know, is it alright to ask an acquaintance that question? Where do you draw the line for work friends? Is it my place to get involved here? Will someone welcome being included or consider it an intrusion?
*

In the end, there are no lines. And how we connect doesn't matter.

Because all we have is each other.

Don't wait until someone's last days to let them know what they mean to you.

Don't wait to give that kind word.

Don't wait to ask about someone's day.

Or ask if they want to grab some lunch.

Don't wait to give encouragement.

Or let someone know they are heard.
*

And this isn't just about the people in our lives.

It's about us too.

How often have we felt fearful of another's success?

How often have we held back encouragement?

Is it because deep down, we really don't actually believe we create anything that's worthy?

Is it because we don't encourage our own growth and applaud our own successes?

Is it because we don't think that our expressions matter?
*

If there is one thing that I have learned through this loss is that all we have in the end is how what we create and say and do connects with others.

Our words. Our art.

We touch people in ways we never imagine.
*

We were all meant to shine our lights, create our creations, express our feelings.

Don't wait to let others know that their light brightened your day.

Don't wait to give the gift of your light to the world.
*

So next time the voices get loud or the fear getting darker, and you have the urge to shrink, to judge.

Stop. Breathe. Expand your heart, even by just one milimeter, with love.

because you matter.
*

Please don't wait until you are saying goodbye for your voice to be heard.

no more of this playing small crap

2008-12-04T06:08:00.001-08:00

cliff jumping
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

yeah.

I am honoring the steps I've taken in growing my art business. They were scary and I did them anyway.

But I realized lately that I am still playing small in many areas, adhering to the voices in my head that tell me that I can't do it or I'm not good enough.

Those voices are not mine.

It's time to tell them to kiss my ass.

And I also realize just how intertwined this journey is. When I take {what feels to me like} HUGE steps in loving me, I am also taking steps creatively and professionally as well and spiritually and personally.

It all comes back to the same thing doesn't it?? Loving yourself enough to BE yourself-however that manifests.

I will be sharing more of the details soon.

much love~

p.s. those nuts jumping off of a cliff are friends of mine and Jason's. You can see more photos from that weekend on my flickr stream

p.p.s. I would love any suggestions and/or advice any of you on the creative path have!!!

check me out!!!!

2008-12-02T04:10:00.001-08:00

red heart
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

I am a guest blogger over at Christine Kane today!!

Thank you Christine for the opportunity!!!

I would also like to thank my gorgeous soul sister for excitedly emailing me and letting me know the article was up. When you have a friend that is as excited for the positive events in your life as you are, you are truly blessed.

First Monday

2008-11-30T06:26:00.001-08:00

gorgeous goddess girlfriend gift set
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

Here in texas, there is an event called first monday in Canton, Texas-which is a huge shopping event on the weekend adjacent to the first monday of every month. Part flea market, part bazaar, part mall, this thing is HUGE. People come from other states and spend the weekend.

It's quite a colorful experience and now I am participating in a first monday event of my own. Etsy Texas Crafters hold their own first monday event where participating shops offer discounts and goodies-and I'm part of it!!!

This monday (tomorrow), from 12am to 12am, all items in my shop will be 25% off-AND you get a free hand crafted affirmation card with each purchase! The prices in my shop will be adjusted to reflect the discount starting at midnight tonight.

Any purchases made at this event will be mailed within three days to ensure they will get to their new homes in time for christmas. :-)

Happy shopping!!!

instrument of celebration

2008-11-29T04:57:00.001-08:00

your world is colorful
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

So...

I asked a few posts back what you were an instrument of. I asked the universe what I am an instrument of.

I read something recently on visiting intuitives. You know, palm readers, aura workers, psychics, etc. The article said that the people that were for real were usually not the people that made grand proclamations, but those that affirm for you what you sort of knew in your gut anyway. The most helpful intuitives were those that could provide guidance or clarity on those feelings already within us.

So when I posed the question to the universe a few nights ago (my minister suggests asking the universe prior to going to sleep and making note of what you dream about), it wasn't a huge shock to me that the message I got back was: share, love, celebrate.

Yet at the same time, it was an affirmation that I was going in the right direction. If you read my blog regularly or visit my site or my etsy shop, I hope you can see that my intent is just those things.

However, I would also like to share that often, this question gets posed rather loudly in my head. Towards myself and (shamefully admitting) to others.

While I certainly have the intent to celebrate and uplift myself and all women seeking to voice their authentic creativity, I am human and have the same human insecurities that we all do.

I get in lack thinking, I feel threatened by other's success. I get jealous. And impatient. And confused.

I worry, sometimes, that deep down, I am not a ray of light but that petty, angry clump of emotions.

This is not to discourage anyone that is setting an intent or stepping into creativity. For me, getting that message was sweet relief that those confusing feelings-while real- weren't the 'real' me. That the core of me was truly about love and celebration and sharing.

And so I write this to encourage anyone wondering what it is really all about, to pose the question to the universe. I believe you be empowered by the answer.

*namaste*

giving love

2008-11-23T05:27:00.000-08:00

Christine Kane live at the Diana Wortham Theater

I gave you all some love here

what are you an instrument of???

2008-11-18T15:38:00.000-08:00

image courtesy google image search

That's what my minister asked this weekend.

what are you an instrument of?

I'm not sure, honestly.

but as I dedicated my most recent newsletter to celebrating and honoring the life of a friend (see below), I realized at least what I would like to be, at least, is an instrument for celebrating life.

my life.

your life.

an instrument for saying yes

and an instrument of love

what are you an instrument of?

celebrating...

2008-11-14T04:08:00.001-08:00

delight in nature
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

I got heartbreaking news yesterday. My friend won't be with us much longer. I am devastated for his wife and his new son that didn't get to spend nearly enough time with his dad.

Once again, I am reminded by tragic circumstances to celebrate and appreciate life now.

Go out and marvel at leaves. Delight in the smell of woodsmoke on the air. Embrace laughter with a loved one. And let the ones you love know just how much you love them.

*namaste*

change

2008-11-10T18:48:00.001-08:00

leaf flare
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

I got to thinking after the whole melt down thing. I do this about once or twice a year-just completely get overwhelmed and dissolve into tears. Each time feels like another layer of fear and doubt peeling back from the onion.

In my weaker moments, I wonder if it's endless.

I wonder sometimes if the tools we are given or learn or read about or employ really work or if they are just a feel good tonic.

But I admit that other than a few, I haven't consistently employed the self realization tools-affirmations and vision boards and reiki and meditation and the like.

I'm tired of the up and down. So I decided to experiment. I find that in the frame of an experiment-some of the volatile emotion dissipates. You can read the great experiment here.

I have no intention of letting go if this blog but I think there may be a natural change that occurs as I share more of my personal journey in another form. Not sure how that change will manifest-maybe this blog will concentrate more on my art and the evolution of it. Or not...I'm going to let it evolve naturally. The link to the new blog is on my side bar as well.

I hope you'll stop by.

love and sunbeams~

demanding to be talked about

2008-11-09T06:50:00.001-08:00

dream*tree
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

yesterday was the crash.

the day previously (friday), I had been feeling good about life in general.
energized. I believed in my art. I felt confident in why I created art.

I'm not sure what started it but I think over-eating when we visited friends for dinner on friday is a big part of it. Megg talked recently about not trusting herself due to unhealthy actions and that really resonated with me. I think every time I over eat, I lose a little more self respect and self trust and I also think that creates a cascade effect, opening the door for deeper buried feelings of self doubt and self loathing.

Saturday morning I was crying so hard I couldn't see through the haze of doubt and loathing that came up. I cut a wide swath in my inner attack-my ability to create art or teach art, my abilities as a wife and dog mom, my ability to keep my home. Who the hell was I to think I could positively affect anyone when I had all this sludge within me???

It was ugly. Jason couldn't do much more than hold me and listen to the purge. When it was over, I couldn't even look him in the eye. The love and acceptance I knew I would see in them felt shaming. How could he still see something beautiful in the midst of all this ugly?

But, I wiped my face, drank some water, took a nap and then carried on about my day. When my two jewelry creators showed up for the workshop I gave yesterday, I was still raw, but steady.

Then the moment happened-the moment that always happens when I give workshops. A participant creates something they didn't think they could do and joy spreads across their face. They break into a wide grin or clap or laugh and I remember why I keep wading through the sludge. To continue to give that feeling to others.

Today I am still quietly feeling these feelings. The moment of joy didn't erase the doubt that is within-but it shone a light. And while I don't think this is the culmination of the journey by any stretch, I know I will continue to walk it.

much love to all of you.

*namaste*

p.s. I know at least one of yesterday's participants reads this blog and I just wanted to extend a heartfelt thank you for creating with me yesterday. You may think I gave you a gift, but really, you gave me one.

gorgeousgoddessgoodness

2008-11-07T05:23:00.001-08:00

gorgeous goddess girlfriend gift set
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

Hey lovelies! So...um...I have been so busy with stuff lately (haven't we all???) that I...uh...forgot to mention that I updated my website. DOH!

Anyway, if you have a chance, please take a moment to check it out. I'm really pleased with the way the site has evolved since I created it and I hope you are too!!

In other news, I have created a gorgeous*goddess*girlfriend*gift set (here on out known as the 4g set...lol).

I created it because I believe affirming at multiple levels adds power to our already powerful intentions. And because...gosh darnit...they are fun-fun to have, fun to make, fun to express.

I have several available in my etsy shop and there are oh so many ways you can customize them to make them your own.

Lastly, a remind-if we haven't all been hit with it in the face already-that the holidays are descending on us. This set and other yummy items in my shop make great gifts for another..or for ourselves. Especially for ourselves. :-)

All are reasonably priced too (because I personally believe that fun and beauty and affirmations should not cost an arm and a leg) and a portion of every sale goes to a cause close to my heart. Through december, that cause is best friends animal sanctuary. So you get to have yummy stuff and support doggies (and horses and goats and turtles and...) too!!!

much love and squishy hugs~

affirming

2008-11-02T14:11:00.001-08:00

joy*star necklace
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

{necklace for sale in my etsy shop}

I was tagged by the fabulous boho mom so here ya go!

I am told these are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

O.K....now for 6 Random Things About Me:

1. i am finding that coming into my own as an artist is free~ing and joy~full and also scary and awkward. the joy~full and free~ing are totally worth the scary and awkward though.

2. i am totally okay with ice cream for dinner.

3. i used to hate the christmas holiday-all the stress and expectations, the driving, the spending, etc. since we bought a home, i now get to walk my dogs through a neighborhood of home decorated and lighted for holidays. it is enchanting and beautiful. it is now something i look forward to.

4. i love the color red. specifically, i love the red/pink color combo

5. i love movies targeted for kids like finding nemo, cars and surf's up. i also love teen type movies-breakfast club and the like. and i'll never give up my total cheese ball enjoyment of those great late 80's-early 90's movies like pretty woman and major league.

6. i'm not so much for rules so i am tagging no one. i hope you enjoyed getting to know more about me-i certainly enjoyed sharing! feel free to play along if you choose.

life is delicious (and other things)

2008-10-27T15:29:00.001-07:00

tori8
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

don't get me wrong. on the salad bar of life, there are those bits that you think will be tasty and just..um...aren't. or the bits that you know always give you a stomach ache but eat sometimes anyway. And you just plain don't want to eat that bit (beet) over there.

but those honey crisp apple sunsets. or those molten chocolate kisses. and of course those chicken and dumplings group hugs.

*happy sigh* the thing about the salad bar of life is, of course, that it never closes. there is time to savor and sample and choose.

this yummy photo affirms your delicious choices, your nourishing goals and your healing intentions. it and other soul~affirmations can be found in my etsy shop. {and very reasonably priced too, i might add}

more goodness abounds!!! i am thrilled to be a contributor to the fabulous wish studio blogzine! you can check out my article here. a huge thank you goes to mindy and her support of artists.

okay, so high five everyone! i hope you all are having a fabulous start to a fabulous week.

*namaste*

intention buddy

2008-10-18T10:26:00.001-07:00

bryson family session 2
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

cause Mindy asked (and I love me some pink sky), here is my take on having an intention buddy.

~ read this from the amazing artist, Christine Kane.

~ think about it, resist it, embrace it, love it, print it out, throw it away, reprint, underline or otherwise marinate and contemplate the ideas contained in the above.

~ ultimately decide if the idea is for you.

~ ask a friend to join you in the journey.

~ decide your intentions. really think about this. write them down. trust that you know what is right for you.

~ share your intentions with your buddy. really listen to theirs.

~ email or call or text or meet for lunch or send smoke signals or otherwise communicate the goals or actions or events that come up for you in your intention journey.

~ listen to your gut when stuff comes up.

~ jump up and down when the other succeeds. jump and down when they are down and feeling icky and itchy too just to make them laugh.

~ occasionally make an intention to just eat ice cream and talk about what was on TV last night.

~ tell the truth.

~ love each other no matter what.

~ repeat as needed.

if anyone has any specific questions about my experience with an intention buddy, or setting intentions, you are welcome to email me at artist [at] dandelion-studios [dot] com

*namaste*

recent awesomeness

2008-10-10T05:37:00.001-07:00

fairy houses
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

gorgeous goddess cards (and other goodies!) from the fabulous Melly
*
celebrating crankiness
*
powerful intentions
*
a fabulous intention buddy
*
gratitude journaling
*
Sorrow's amazing creations for a wonderful cause
*
an award from the funny and honest nina
*
orange chuck taylors
*
books that remind me to be me
*
grass sitting
*
moon gazing
*
yoga for lunch
*
every one of you

practicing boredom

2008-10-06T06:09:00.001-07:00

mini flowers
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

I never got into drugs. I'm a casual drinker at best. I don't gamble, I'm not a fan of shopping. I don't cheat, I don't steal.

But I spend mindless hours on the internet looking for fullfilment. Or relief from boredom, or distraction from uncomfortable feelings. And then there's the comparion game that I know many of us play-peeking into the artfully described world of another soul and thinking they are better, or prettier or more successful or have a better relationship or any one of the myriad of reasons I find to feel less than because they have prettier graphics or more links to their posts.

If it's not an addiction, it is at least an unhealthy relationship.

I worry about posting less here because I don't want to lose connections with people that I genuinely enjoy or care about. Realistically, completely giving up an online presense doesn't make sense with my duties at work, my etsy shop and my growing business.

I'm working to find a balance. One that allows me to still enjoy connections and be present in my business without going over the 'dark side'. And I'm practicing boredom, inspired by the fabulous Christine Kane. Just being-not trying to fill every minute with something. Just sitting with feelings. Not meditating-as that is still DOING. Just...being here. Right now.

One way we can still stay in touch is through my monthly-ish e-letter, which you can sign up for by emailing: artist [at] dandelion-studios [dot] com. I promise never to spam and all that good stuff.

If you feel that my story resonates with you, maybe we can start a boredom group! LOL. It requires all of us to sit in grass and do nothing at least once a day. ;-) Will you join me?

much love~

lesson for the week*

2008-10-03T03:44:00.001-07:00

every day
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

that while the dogs certainly appreciate it when I add a dollop of yogurt to their food bowls, they much prefer to eat it directly off the spoon.

:-)

happy friday people!

world watching

2008-09-29T04:09:00.001-07:00

bench
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

doesn't that bench just look so inviting? Metaphorically, I've been doing a lot of world watching from that bench in the last week.

Still not ready to get my butt up off it and rejoin but as soon as I finish this (metaphorical) ice cream cone, I'll jump back in the sandbox and share my exploits. ;-)

Until then, I'm thrilled to announce that Kikipotamus is the winner of the free affirmation card that I mentioned a couple of posts ago. Hooray!!

Kiki, I will be emailing you to get your details soon.

much love, folks, and I'll catch up with you soon.

Breathing

2008-09-23T08:25:00.001-07:00

lily pads
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

somtimes, big deep breaths are needed to get back to center.

I am doing that this week.

I'll be back with breathing stories next week.

*namaste*

sacred sunday::feeling the feelings

2008-09-21T15:46:00.000-07:00

*Goddess Screams, acrylic on canvas*

It takes courage to grow up and be who you really are~e.e. cummings

This I know to be true in my life::that all the books, all the workshops, all the art journals, the life coaching and the therapy are all tools or catalysts for one simple thing. Feeling the feelings. The hurt, the anger, the resentment. The stuff that feels dirty, the stuff that feels shameful, the stuff that feels like you 'shouldn't' feel it. The stuff that feels like you will die if you feel it.

Only then, does the joy come through-because when feelings get stuffed down, numbed out or avoided, ALL feelings do. Only then does the healing begin. Only then does the realization come: that I (you) are not bad for feeling these feelings. They are part of life. That I will not die. That I am never broken.

So tonight, on this autumn equinox (mabon to many of earth based spirituality's), I honor the lessons learned (harvest gathered) and wisdom gained. As the days and nights balance and are equal, I am honoring balance in my life~light and dark, all feelings, all experiences. Joy and pain, new growth and gathered fruits, rest and work.

What lessons have you learned this year? What do you take with you into a time of rest?

celebrate your world friday

2008-09-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

photo print available in my etsy shop

so I'm changing it up today and celebrating instead of coloring my world! They are pretty much the same thing anyway, aren't they?

Just wanted to let you guys know of some changes in my world-first, I've added some photo and prose prints in my shop and will be adding jewelry soon. Also, because I want to celebrate and support all the souls in this world that heal, encourage and care for others, 10% of all my sales going forward will go to causes close to my heart. I will change them quarterly. A portion of all sales for Sept through December of this year will go to the Best Friends animal sanctuary in Utah. This is the sanctuary that took in the dogs confiscated from Michael Vicks property and are currently doing work in Galveston and other hurricane affected regions.

I hope you love the new creations as I so loved creating them! Anyone that leaves a comment to this blog will be put in a random drawing to receive a free hand crafted affirmation card.

big sqishy hugs and love~

brandi

random snippets..

2008-09-17T15:27:00.000-07:00

...of life these days.

a windmill resting on a still evening

my boogs giving me a grin

I think the flowers are giving me one too

the window in my art space *sigh* just looking at the picture calms down

sacred sunday::being a girl

2008-09-14T04:46:00.001-07:00

self portrait
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

I love getting pedicures...and walking barefoot in the yard.
*
I love wearing swirly skirts and bangles and comfy pj's and my husband's tee-shirts and sassy heels and jackie 0 sunglasses
*
I love paint all over my hands and I love the way my wedding set sparkles in the light
*
I love feeling my muscles move and the sheen of sweat on my skin
*
I love the way the sheets on my bed feel against my skin after a day of loving and creating and being...and a day of crankiness and stuck-ness
*
I love the connection I feel with the moon, unexplainable and centuries old
*
I love that I love...that I see the other viewpoint...that I care if the house is clean and worry about the dogs
*
I love that I am hardwired for compassion and nurturing and with a warrior spirit at the same time
*
I love that when I put my ear to the earth, I can hear it's heartbeat
*
I love that I love pretty things and making pretty things and sharing pretty things
*
I love that I create

and I just adore being a girl...right here...right now.

*namaste*

color your world friday

2008-09-12T04:34:00.001-07:00

tranquil
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen - that stillness becomes a radiance. -Morgan Freeman

don't you just want to take a big deep breath when you see this pic??

take one now. drink in the coolness. smile.

have a fabulous day.

A vote for Michele is a vote for you

2008-09-09T06:44:00.000-07:00

*photo from D Magazine's website*

Many of you know that I started seeing a life coach earlier this year. And while I've referenced her regularly here, I have't gotten into a lot of detail.

I am now. I have a few examples of what I want to be when I 'grow up' and Michele is one of them. She truly has been a guide for me, an unfailing support and an example of an authentic woman. She is also a cancer survivor and a tireless supporter of multiple charitable organizations in Dallas-including Susan G Koman and Buckner children's home. She was nominated for D Magazines 10 Most beautiful women contest recently and I'd like to share (with permission) some of what the person who nominated her had to say:

Having grown up in Dallas, I am highly aware of our city's focus on external beauty, and I thought about how sincerely Michele's inner beauty radiates externally. I also thought about the many ways in which Michele's professional work and community service come together to create a truly beautiful life. I would love to see someone with Michele's grace and inner beauty displayed on the cover of our city magazine. What better example of beauty for Dallas' young women than someone such as Michele Wahlder? So, I nominated her! And, I am happy to announce that Michele Wahlder has been chosen (out of literally 100s of nominations) as one of Dallas' Most Beautiful Women! -Robyn Short

I'm sharing this with you because I think people need more examples of truly beautiful women. It's not about looks-though she is of course attractive-it's about that inner light that glows within her. It's about the work that she does. And most important, it's because she enpowers other women to embrace their true beauty. If you feel called to support her, the link to vote is below.

Regardless of whether you do or not, I think this is an excellent time to start thinking about true beauty...what it is and how to manifest more of it in the world. Who are your examples? How are you an example (and I know you are)? What steps can we take-individually and collectively-to grow, embrace and share true beauty in our lives, our community and the world?

*namaste*

Vote for Michele link-D Magazine

one year.

2008-09-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

photo credit Marc Oxford

I wasn't nervous a year ago today. I was ready.

Is marriage some blissful romantic cloud ride? No. It's tears and frustrations and dammit if you leave your socks on the floor one more time I'm going to freaking throw them away. It's learning and re-learning even when like us, you've been together forever and bought a house and did all the cohabiting prior to getting married. It's boredom and it's stress and it's worry.

It is also the greatest adventure I could ever ask for. It's deep roots I have always craved. It's security and it's freedom. It's knowing and laughter and gentle kisses under blankets.

I am so excited to see what the next years bring.

Happy anniversary sweetie. I love you.

color your world friday::the trip

2008-09-05T06:53:00.001-07:00

And what color there is!!! I promised more details on the trip and here they are~

Our first stop on sunday after learning that the cruise was canceled was to Fredericksburg, Texas. Those of you who are regular readers may remember that we went there last year and fell in love with the place. And rightly so. There's something in the air there~an expansiveness that immediately feels like home to me. We ate good german food at Auslander's and listened to an amazing singer/songwriter named Susan Gibson.

The next day-after sleeping in!-we drove about an hour to New Braunfels, Texas to visit friends. There we swam and relaxed on the Comal River and then had a great meal at the Gristmill, overlooking the Guadalupe.

The adventures continued on Tuesday as we headed a short distance down the road to San Antonio to visit the Alamo.

The grounds were absolutely beautiful and serene and more than anything, I felt the energy of the mission it had once been, not the battle that it became.

Then back to Fredericksburg to finish out the vacation where we strolled down main street, shopping, soaking in sun and enjoying the small delights of the town.

Always, I find treasures here. Little hidden pockets of fancy and fun and color.

And that's it!! Not what we expected but I am finding more joy in the unexpected unfoldings these days. What unexpected joys have you found today??

relaxed

2008-09-03T14:22:00.001-07:00

relaxed
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

this photo pretty much sums up our vacation~relaxed. fun. easy.

I'll be back with more in a few days but just wanted to let you guys know we're back. Our cruise got canceled-pesky hurricane and all so we decided to visit our absolute favorite part of the world, texas hill country with a specific visit to Fredericksburg.

The pic above is at the comal river in New Braunfels, texas where we spent a day and night with friends.

I couldn't have asked for a better time ya'll and I'm happy to be home to savor the experiences, hug my babies and share with you.

Talk to you soon~

brandi

color your world friday

2008-08-29T05:32:00.001-07:00

hammocks
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

This time last year I was days away from marrying my husband. And freaking stressed out beyond belief...lol.

The picture above was taken on our honeymoon where we sat on the beach and did a whole lot of nothing. And loved every minute of it.

We're off on a cruise to celebrate our (official) coming together one year ago starting this weekend so I'll catch you guys when I get back.

Stuff that's going on in the meantime:
For dallas area peeps (or not-I love visitors!), I have a juicy creativity workshop on Sept 27 is my sacred space creativity room. I'd love to have you! You can learn more here.

And I've added some goodies to my etsy shop.

I won't be able to check email while I'm away but will get to any inquiries when I return.

I wish you all blue sky pink lemonade days.

*smooches!

Don't forget...

2008-08-27T07:01:00.001-07:00

belly rub
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

to get out and stretch today.

the feel the earth beneath your feet.

to smell the air.

to hear the birds.

to know you are an integral and important part of this universe.

*namaste*

sacred sunday clinging stubbornly to positivity

2008-08-24T14:54:00.001-07:00

altar
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

Did anyone else ever get the message that being positive, seeing the good, having hope for gas prices or world peace or the environment or insert hot topic here made you sort naive? And stupid? Did anyone else get the message that being super informed or being cynical or sarcastic was cool?

I did. I wanted to be cool too. So I tried being super informed so I could talk brilliantly at parties and the cool kids would like me.

And then I realized all I did was talk because the onslaught of information, at least to an empathetic person like me, was overwhelming and paralyzing.

I stopped listening to NPR.

I stopped watching the news.

I care and I act to make the lives of others better...just not at the cost of my own.

And I believe in signs from god.

I believe the world works with you (most of the time).

I believe color can lift a mood and a genuine smile can change someone's day.

I believe in seeing the good in people (or trying my best to).

I believe in second chances.

I believe in glitter and magic and cheesy 80's music.

I believe that prayer really works.

I believe in you.

And I don't care if I am cool or not. ;-)

color your world friday

2008-08-22T05:38:00.001-07:00

sunflowers
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

what color is your world today?? What color do you want it to be??

art, magic, photo, play

2008-08-20T17:00:00.001-07:00

affirmation cards
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

The title is actually what I hold an intention to put out into the world.

I have slowly been growing and creating my website and envisioning workshops, refining my photography and through it all, trying to remember always follow the joy. If it starts to feel heavy and hard, if the resistance smacks me in the face, that is usually a good indication that I've lost sight of the true purpose.

What am I blabbing about??? My dream. The one where I hold space for others to discover their creativity, to just start that journey and let it unfold before them. The one where I help them celebrate the moments that matter to them. The one where I spread joy like a dandelion helicopters seeds on the wind.

I have been practicing my dream for awhile but have been hesitant about putting that dream out into the world. All the fear and stuff, you know. Recent events personally and around me have allowed me to shift perspective and realize what's important. Suddenly, the fear has lost it's grip somewhat and I realize the dream is worth pursuing. Which means it's worth talking about.

So I am sharing with you the art I create here

And the workshops I provide here

And the photography I create here

And I'd like to continue to share this journey as it refines and deepens. If you would like to be on my psuedo regular e-letter, Dandelion Seeds, please email me at artist [at] dandelion-studios [dot] com.

Thank you for allowing me to share my dream with you!

*namaste*

sacred sunday course corrections

2008-08-17T17:31:00.001-07:00

chime
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

so I was doing yoga in the backyard (I just started doing this and I love it-the only way I want to do yoga is outdoors) and was going into tree pose. Tree pose is where you stand on one leg and bend the other-with the foot of your bent leg resting against the knee of your standing leg.

Anyway, I was going into this pose and the balance poses (of which this is obviously one) are the poses that I tend to struggle with (hmm...lesson anyone??). I was really concentrating on staying stable on one leg, correcting, adjusting, sometimes losing my balance and starting over. As I settled in, got back to my breath and steadied myself, I heard a voice in my head say, you will always have course corrections.

huh.

interesting.

But isn't it true?? None of us get a map to this journey we are on. We all have points in our life where we have to retrace our steps or come to a dead end or get back on the straight and narrow after veering (or decide to take the scenic tour for awhile). And that's life.

I think the trick is to breathe, pay attention and to be open to what the course corrections are trying to tell us.

*namaste*

color your world friday

2008-08-15T05:34:00.001-07:00

red dice
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

hey folks! I hope you all have a fun friday.

exercise for the day: the glad game (ever seen pollyanna?).

what's to be glad about today???

okay-go.

church

2008-08-11T16:39:00.001-07:00

sanctuary
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

I probably lost half of you with that title. Before I go further, let me just go on record as saying that this post is about my own spiritual journey and not meant to judge or persuade yours. My general philosophy on spirituality and religion is if it works for you-whether you be buddhist or agnostic, catholic or pagan-then I respect and appreciate that. All I would ask is the same in return.

Anyway. Church. It is-or was-a loaded word for me. I grew up southern baptist and roman catholic (if you can imagine) and by the time I was in high school, had decided that neither of those were for me. I didn't feel connected to god, in fact had become pretty disenfranchised with god, and felt that the whole point of the spiritual traditions were to judge and control.

So once I went to college, I pretty much forgot about church and about god unless I was in a bind and promising god that if he got me out of this mess, I wouldn't do it again. Funny how I could deny divine existence until I needed something huh?

Then I got divorced at 23 and my whole word collapsed under me. I started searching for something, anything, to make sense and bring some peace to a horribly painful and scary situation. The traditions of my youth didn't call to me and I started exploring other spiritualities. Buddhism was the first. And it made sense to me, brought me some relief and prompted more questions. I became addicted to philosophies. If buddhists think this was, what do hindu's think? What about episcopalians? Unitarians? Quakers?

That journey went on for about 5 years as I kept searching for that ping in my chest that said this was it. But the search, really, was very on the surface. It was about gaining knowledge from books and the internet but there was fear to dive deeper and experience. As much as I wanted the ping-craved it-I was afraid to trust.

Then one day about four years ago, I was visiting a friend of mine in Tulsa for the weekend. She and her boyfriend at the time were looking for a church they could attend together and asked if I wanted to tag along. The church was one their dance instructor attended and we all thought she must mean Unitarian as none of us had ever heard of Unity.

I liked that it seemed very open and loving and that while they were talking about the bible and jesus, they weren't talking about it in a way that I had ever heard (Unity in general believes in taking the bible at a metaphysical and allegorical level and relating it to our individual journey and that Jesus was a wayshower. One of the wayshowers-as was buddha, mohammed, etc). But really, no lighting bolts.

Then they brought out the children from children's church and lined them up on the stage. Every person in the congregation held their hands out to the kids and as a body said, 'we love you, we bless you and we truly appreciate you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.'

I started to cry.

hard.

And I realized what I had been looking for-from anyone really but from spiritual body in particular-was that kind of acceptance. That was what I was trying to fulfill-just someone telling me it was okay to be me. Not we love you but really you should fix this and not do that. And stop asking us questions.

I found a church and started attending sporadically. I felt the pings. But I had been hurt and felt abandoned by those within spiritual organizations before and those feelings didn't just go away. I was looking for a reason not to go to church-to find hypocrisy, to be disappointed. And I had a MAJOR hang up with being at a 'church'. That word had taken on a negative connotation for me and for years I had made being anti-establishment part of my identity. Going there and committing would mean admitting being wrong and giving up part of my identity. So I kicked at it alot-this church. Which means I kicked at people alot-well meaning, loving people even when I wasn't. I pushed back, I challenged, I wasn't easy to deal with. I was doing the whole push them away before I get pushed away (or disappointed, or hurt).

I don't know what changed-and it took YEARS to happen- but somewhere along the way I made peace with the fact that no matter how hard I pushed or rationalized, I had found a community. A home. What I realized is that any institution, from a church to schools to our government is made of ordinary human beings. Claiming that THE CHURCH (or school or government) commits some crime or insult against a person or community or society negates our very humanity by not attributing actions to the people within an organization. My anger and hurt hadn't been with a church all those years, it had been with the people who hurt me (and here I am talking about anger regarding specific events-not theological differences). The fact that they happened to go to the same church I went to at the time was about as relevant as someone going to the same high school as me.

Which is not to say that every organization is going to be right for everyone. Or that there can't be a bunch of effed up people within one that affects the whole. We all know this.

So why am I writing this?? Because some of you may have noticed, I have been celebrating being ALIVE lately. And I feel alive in my spiritual community. I feel accepted and excited about what the future will hold. I am part of something by being PART of something-putting feet to the feelings-and that is truly an amazing thing.

My new senior minister had her first talk yesterday and she is ALIVE. She reminded me that I have that joy within me, that spirit. She talked about creating a vibrant spiritual community. She said that part of that was a building filled with people that were excited to be there. And if they weren't, maybe it's time to ask the question why. Or to find the place that does give them excitement and allows their aliveness to shine through.

what brings you excitement? What makes you feel alive?? Maybe it's time to find out...

*namaste*

gifts

2008-08-09T13:10:00.001-07:00

cutie
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

so colonoscopys suck, in case you were wondering.

the procedure itself is nothing as I was completely knocked out and don't even remember getting wheeled into the room. But the prep OH MY GOD. Never go through one if you don't have to.

I will say this though, the whole mess was a gift. When all you can eat is green jello, having the access to abundant food as I do becomes an indescribable pleasure. When you spend hours purging your insides for the procedure (sorry, you do), you have to let go of emotional stuff too. For me it was control. I couldn't make myself like the situation, I couldn't make it better and I couldn't avoid it. So I just had to deal with it as is and move through it. When you have to avoid ANY food or water for 12 hours prior to event, drinking water becomes a joyous ritual.

And a process like this puts my priorities into perspective. It turns out there are no major or scary issues to deal with and I am okay. However, the issues I do have-though treatable- are most likely due to my crappy eating habits. I thought practicing portion control was really what it was all about. I mean, as long as I didn't have a weight problem, who cares if I subscribed to the all brownies all the time diet right???

And I would tell myself occasionally that really, I'll start eating healthier. But mostly I would do that if caught an episode of oprah or thumbed through a yoga magazine. I didn't really mean it because, hey let's face it, I like fried pickles. ALOT.

That's changed now that I can see first hand (they give you pictures of your insides. Really.) the damage eating an unbalanced, high fat diet can do. Don't we usually need a tangible reason to change?? Well, now I have one and I am so grateful for it. So, that doesn't mean a life without an occasional brownie and there is no way I am completely cutting out dr pepper. But it does mean paying attention and loving myself enough to be healthy, balanced and whole.

I am Brandi and I am ALIVE. It's about time I started putting feet to that statement.

*namaste*

p.s. A good friend of mine just started a blog and I have to say, I'd be hooked even if I didn't know how awesome she is. Check her out at: Brandy's new life

p.p.s. Ya'll rock. You really do. I can't thank you enough for the support and encouragement.

color your world any day*

2008-08-06T10:18:00.001-07:00

refraction
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

"we don't see things as they are, we see things as we are"-Anais Nin

Hey folks. I'm being sort of quiet this week and probably into next week as well.

I am going through the prep stages of a medical proceedure (one of those mostly routine but still don't want to talk about proceedures in the lower chakra regions that require you to purge most of your bodily contents. If you get my drift). Anyway, like I said, routine but still unpleasant and requiring diligence in keeping my thoughts from immediately going to worst case scenarios.

On top of that, I decided that since I have to go on an all liquid all the time diet this week (starting tonight), I may as well use this week to kick start a healthier eating plan. I'm not one to diet and I don't have to diet usually as I get more than my fair share of exercise. However, the foods I normally enjoy just seem empty lately and unfulfilling. I find myself longing for fresh and bright and alive foods. Except for the dr pepper. There is always room in my heart for dr pepper. And honestly, I have let my normal habits of practicing portion control slip a bit and my frame is slightly more filled out than normal.

Frustrating. You think you've got a lesson learned that you don't have to deal with anymore and then someone trots out that damn dusty textbook and you have to sit and go through the lessons again.

I also realize that most would (and should) roll their eyes any time I would even consider weight an issue. I know this and I worry about it anyway because I'm a girl and none of us got healthy body messages growing up.

So I'm using a lot of mental energy, I guess is what I'm trying to say. And that requires quiet this week.

I'm good though-sludging through this stuff always ends with a reward on the other side.

Much love and stardust and think good thoughts for me on friday~

color your world friday

2008-08-01T05:29:00.001-07:00

happy daisy
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

Hey gorgeous souls! Hope everyone has a weekend filled with sun sparkles, yummy treats and laughter.

smooches!

confetti

2008-07-30T05:48:00.001-07:00

crepe myrtle confetti, originally uploaded by dandelion seeds.

Doesn't the pic below look like nature's confetti??? I think our world celebrates life all the time, we just have to look for it.

Many things to celebrate these days.

I completely revamped my website and it's linked on the side bar.

And I am celebrating the opportunities for my creativity to blossom that sort of prompted me to get that website going and out into the world.

I am celebrating with big noisy tears, the life and message of Randy Paush. While I am so sad for his beautiful wife and family, the way his message is spreading, the legacy he leaves them-and us-and the love he gave them is cause for humble gratitude.

I am celebrating this post by my gorgeous friend at free for faith. If that's not showing up as love, then I don't know what is.

I am celebrating new connections with a soul sister across the country.

And I am celebrating myself and the little person inside me that maybe doesn't always feel noticed. I plan on giving her a pink frosted cupcakes and feature boas and maybe an 80's movies night with friends. She deserves it. :-)

I celebrate each of you today and our connections as we move through our little spaces in the world.

*namaste*

soul*shine

2008-07-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

I remember when the band that I used to managed got negative feedback, I would give them all the lines that you are supposed to give in that situation. Hey, not everyone's going to like you. You have tons of fans, don't worry about that guy (label, radio station, bar tender, club manager). You guys rock, that guy doesn't know what he's talking about anyway. Who cares what they think, we still sold X in merch tonight. While I was genuine in my efforts to support and encourage them, sometimes I would get exasperated with how upset they would get when someone would pass on negative feedback. I mean, they'd been doing the whole bar scene for awhile before I came along, they knew how this worked right? They knew that it wasn't realistic to think that everyone was going to love your stuff. Right?

I didn't get it.

I do now.

The truth is, you may understand that rationally but when you are creating from the heart, when what you are putting out there is an expression of your soul, your heart doesn't understand it one damn bit. That's your love going out into the world and any rejection, no matter how much you rationalize, hurts.

This isn't a ploy to get someone to buy my art or to get some pats on the back and 'don't worry, I love what you do'. It's just another layer unfolding. The fact is, even saying the above statement, I know some people still won't like my art or think it's worth the money or won't think my photography is good enough. To keep growing my creativity, I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with that.

But I really think that if we were just honest about that part of it-if we just admitted the vulnerability and sensitivity around our creations, maybe the music industry (for example) wouldn't be in the state it's in now-microwaved and bankrupt, with new bands standing very little chance of long term careers because no one around them will put the investment into growing their craft. Maybe the sense of lack and competition wouldn't be as fierce. And maybe we'd all be a little more understanding of the creative process and more willing to support each other.

I've recently expanded my creative unfolding a little bit by opening an etsy shop (finally!). The link is on the sidebar menu. I plan on continuing to grow my shop so check back often!!!!

Also, have you checked out mine and Jason's photo blog lately?? We'll keep posting every week.

Thanks for listening. And speaking of listening, turn your sound up when listening to the above song. Beth Hart's version of 'soulshine' will knock you on your ass in a good way.

Much love and glitter glue~

brandi

color your world friday

2008-07-25T08:31:00.000-07:00

*I'm a pepper, Nikon D50 digital*

Reason # 456 why I love my husband: he buys me dr pepper lunch boxes.

just let go

2008-07-23T05:39:00.000-07:00

There's a scene in the movie, Surf's up where Cody, the young, hot headed lead character is trying to learn to surf so he can win a contest and failing miserably. The older, wiser guru watches him from the beach and encourages the lead characer to just come in and relax. Exasperated and out of breath, Cody exclaims 'I'm trying to surf out here!'. Big Z, the guru, says 'well then stop TRYING so hard'.

Yes, I just gave an in depth review of a movie about surfing penguins.

Anyway, I love the movie because of the humor, the visuals but mostly because of the message to just let go, have fun, be in the moment. That if it's for the money and glory and the trophy, you won't get it. It's a beautiful timely message that I think we're all kind of getting into these days. I love when collective consciousness just starts flowing like that and we all seem to have our unique versions of the same universal messages.

So that's what I am saying to myself these days-just let go. Be in the flow. Allow. Breathe. Stop worrying about the payout.

Good things are happening. And scary emotions and new experiences that I don't know what to do with and confusion and peace. Everytime I start to get too hung up on the outcome, I say to myself just let go

*namaste*

p.s. a friend of mine has started a blog that I think is a wonderful example of getting into the good flow. Please take a second to check her out: Free for faith

sometimes you just need to be sad...

2008-07-20T15:08:00.001-07:00

together, originally uploaded by dandelion seeds.

"the priviledge of a lifetime is being who you are"-Joseph Campbell

kinda goes against the whole positive, new thought spirituality I am part of right?

maybe not. I was listening to my soon to be new senior minister on line (my previous one is pursuing writing and speaking opportunities, the soon to be new one is in the process of relocating here) and she was talking about how sometimes we (meaning those involved in unity or new thought spiritualities) can sometimes use our ideals and principles to beat ourselves over the head: feeling like we're not allowed to have a negative thought or be sad or have a difficult time. Her opinion is that at the core of these principles is to go through life with your eyes wide open, authentic and seeing the inherent sacredness of each moment, not just the pretty ones.

so I'm sad. I've been crying 'for no reason'. Of course there's a reason-though I don't have a specific one. I just think that for now I've learned some tools from life coach's and therapists and reiki and it all and it's time to use them. My initial reaction when the 'for no reason' tears started was that something was wrong. I must still need help. Maybe I should look into therapy again. My second thought is maybe I've been doing the learning and not the feeling. Maybe this is years of denied pain that just needs to breathe. I am not knocking therapy and the like (in fact I can't say enough good things about therapy) but for some reason, I'm okay with just being sad for awhile. Just feeling.

I was talking to someone in my blogging community and we both agree that in some ways the internet can help perpetuate unrealistic ideals. I mean, it makes sense that we don't usually talk about the really ugly stuff-it's personal and vulnerable after all-but as we all read each other's words, there can be a perception that others have this beautiful life and if ours doesn't measure up, we suck.

My life is messy right now. And that's okay.

*namaste*

color your world friday

2008-07-18T05:13:00.001-07:00

texas sunrise
Originally uploaded by dandelion seeds

and what an amazing, colorful world we have.

Namaste, ya'll.

actually it's....

2008-07-16T18:56:00.000-07:00

*Arbuckle Mountains, Nikon D50 digital*

...the side of a rockface!!! Now, I randomly picked from all those that left a comment so I thought it rather amusing that the person who guessed correctly also gets the affirmation card!! LOL. Oceanshaman, email me your info dude!!!

Also, just want to point out a new link on my sidebar. The hubs and I have started a joint photo blog. You can check out all the what for's here. Link to it. You know you want to. ;-)

And speaking of links, Maine Momma's blog is a must see.

Lastly, due to the lovely positive responses I received about turning my comments back on, I think I'll leave them on for awhile.
:-)

road trip.

2008-07-13T18:07:00.000-07:00

*arbuckle mountains, Nikon D50 digital*

'road tripping with my two favorite allies. Fully loaded, we've got snacks and supplies. It's time to leave this town, it's time to steal away. Let's go get lost anywhere in the USA. Let's go get lost, let's go get lost...'-red hot chili peppers

back when I was band manager, I spent more time in my car than I did at my apartment. So many hours on the road, midday, late late night, across several states. Eating, dreaming, talking, crying. Living, basically, in a saturn stick shift with too many miles on it.

{do you ever get that insight on a situation that your perspective of it and the perspective on the other party are completely different sets of reality? Both true. Neither talked about with the other party. Probably the reason for the drama. The huge, huge, HUGE amounts of drama that has never been completely resolved or healed for me. But I digress....}

After it all collapsed, I kept up the nomadic life style for awhile-visiting friends out of state on weekends and such. I didn't know how to just be at home, just be still. So I drove. A few years after that, I developed anxiety when traveling. I am not sure why. Maybe because I had finally resisted the urge to pick up and leave Dallas after getting involved with my now husband (white-knuckled my way through it is more accurate) and the car came to represent instability that I no longer wanted. I dunno. Regardless, I came to dread any car trip other than the one to work and back.

So I didn't visit anyone for awhile, except maybe my parents occasionally. I never drove at night unless forced. Night in a car was a lonely, lonely feeling for me.

This weekend, even though gas is four damn dollars a gallon, I went to oklahoma city to visit my best good friend from college. Joe and I have seen each other through so much dysfunction and pain and loss and also through so much growth and celebration. My wedding, almost a year ago, was the first time I'd seen him in a few years. And until this weekend, we hadn't hung out since. We needed to. We needed to lay on the floor with our feet propped up on the coffee table and talk our language. We needed to celebrate each other and how far we've come. We needed to laugh and reminisce and heal.

I think I did some healing on the drive there and back as well. For once, I actually stopped at the scenic outlooks and on the side of the road and enjoyed the view. What an amazing freaking country we have. I think I'm okay to start exploring it again without anxiety.

I am so blessed.

p.s. I've turned the comments back on so you can take a guess at this photo. Where did I take it? Was in on the side of a building or an overpass or what??? Anyone that guesses gets put in a drawing for a hand made affirmation card!!!

no seriously...

2008-07-11T03:54:00.000-07:00

*keely, Nikon D50 digital*

where's my treat mom? I'm not kidding.

a moment

2008-07-08T16:58:00.000-07:00

*nature's heart, Nikon D50 digital*

if you have a moment, please send love, light and healing to my friend John and his family as he faces cancer. John and his wife had their first son one month ago-John is going into chemo tomorrow.

thank you for your prayers.

dream big

2008-07-05T19:15:00.000-07:00

*dream big, mixed media. Nikon D50, digital*

Yeah, dreaming big scares the hell out of me too. Or it feels wonderful and then the inner critic pipes in-all the stuff about artist's can't be financially stable or I don't have the credentials or who would want to pay for my stuff. Dreaming big can immediately bring up all those other voices-the ones from your mom or that teacher or the boyfriend in college-that are supposedly meant to protect you from a harsh world but are really meant to keep them safe in their comfort zones . It can paralyze as you take a step out of your comfort zone. It can render you speechless in terror and joy at the possibilities. Dreaming big will challenge-it won't let you settle. It keeps pushing and it won't shut up. ever. Dreaming big is a small voice but it's insistent. And it's insistent for a reason for that small voice that pushes you to dream big is really pushing you to fulfill your souls work-your unique creative expression on this earth.

So do it anyway. Dream Big. We can hold hands and do it together.

*namaste*

color your world friday

2008-07-04T04:13:00.000-07:00

*Nash Farm, Grapevine, TX. Nikon D50 digital*

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
The Declaration of Independence July 4, 1776

I think we sometimes forget about the freedom to pursue happiness. Here's hoping you have a creative and joyful fourth of july!!

an evening stroll~

2008-07-02T17:48:00.000-07:00

come take a walk with me around the neighborhood.

the sun is setting pouring golden light between the trees

and there are treasures everywhere

and this is Tex. He's part german shepard, part poodle and part something else-chow maybe?? His mom lives a few houses down from me and he's a dog park friend of Boog and Keely's.

he's enjoying the evening too. :-)

thirsty to create

2008-06-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

*fly free art journal page*

I took a minute from cleaning up from my art workshop at Genesis Women's Shelter to admire the paintings the women had created. As I looked down and smiled at the color and light and imagination dripping on still wet paper, *M* came up to me and started talking about the inspiration for one of her paintings. The painting was primarily the colors of the sorority she wanted to join when she started attending college. Now, I don't know *M's* story and it's not my place to ask but I know that you aren't in a domestic violence shelter because you have nothing better to do on a weekday night. Yet this lovely woman showed fire and spirit in her demeanor. She talked of being blessed for the opportunities before her and the lessons she had learned. I found myself asking to hug her at the end of our talk and humbled by the drive this incredible person displayed before me.

I am going to be honest and say that the first time I visited the shelter, I expected timid, skittish women. And I don't mean that to be disrespectful. But I have had the wind knocked out of me and the fire temporarily quenched through emotional abuse and I just thought that someone that experienced the horror of physical abuse would...well...look it in some way.

But *M* was not unique in her fire and enthusiasm that evening. That inner critic many of us speak of and deal with when it comes to art and creativity was not present in that group of 10 that evening. Every woman dove into the vibrant colors and luxuriated in the textured paper and marveled at the new brushes. Thirsty-every single one of them- for the opportunity just to create and play and express.

And I know the statistics. I know I saw a portion of it and that for every success story, there are the ones that don't make it out. But I came into the evening hoping to teach these women a thing or two about unlocking creativity. Or at the very least, I hoped to give them a respite, even for an hour, from the worries and concerns they must face day in and day out. I can say with gratitude that I learned something that evening that I hope to pass on more and more. CREATE. Don't let anyone or any circumstance stop you. EVER.

I'd also like to give pink sparkly love to Dancing mermaid for her unfailing encouragement and inspiration to create and to share those creations with others. You rock socks, girl.

*namaste*

p.s. please stop by Sorrow's site and send some pink sparkly love to her, Maxine and the human angel that helped Maxine make her transition. Thank you.

color your world friday

2008-06-27T07:01:00.000-07:00

*morning texas sky, Nikon D50 digital*

"Mere color, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways.
Color" - Oscar Wilde

six months.

2008-06-26T10:27:00.000-07:00

*photo via grand prairie animal shelter, Grand Prairie, Texas*

Dear Keely,

Sometimes I go whole days forgetting that you looked like this when we got you. I rub your fur now and it's so soft and full. When you curl up against me, I can't feel your hip bones protruding. Occasionally I see you walking through the house and think gee, she's tall and it takes a second to remember that your back legs wouldn't straighten out for that first month. We think maybe you had been confined for long periods of time but honestly, we don't know your story. Maybe it doesn't matter. I hope it doesn't to you. I hope you have no doggie memories of whatever your life was before us. When I see you in deep sleep on the couch, jerking and snuffling, I hope it's because you are in hot pursuit of a rabbit in your dreams and not in fear of dark, shadowy figures.

I think of the first time we met, you straining on your leash to get to me at the shelter and putting your head in my lap. You must have been so tired, so weak and sore yet you still pushed forward. You took that first vet visit beautifully, despite getting poked and prodded. Dr. Fusselemen loves you, you know that right? I plopped you on the counter, dirty and smelly with fleas jumping off of you and he didn't bat an eyelash. Just stepped up in his calm way and took care of you.

I'm going to be honest, those first few weeks I didn't think I could do it. Just going out to the bathroom, with the cold slapping against your rib bones and bare skin must have been torture. We had to keep you apart from Donnelly at first because of the mange and oh, how you hated that and let us know every chance you got. We hated it too. We hated every minute we couldn't hold you and comfort you and let you stretch out on the couch. And sometimes we'd lose our patience because you were so vocal and desperate to be near us. There wasn't much peace and quiet in our house those first few weeks.

Things weren't much better when you were finally able to join us. You and Donnelly didn't get along. You were small but feisty and a couple of times he sent you rolling. We always fretted that line between protecting you and allowing you guys to establish pack order on your own.

It's hard to believe six months have gone by since we've gotten you-it feels like you've been ours forever. And now we get to see the pure joy you have at chasing after the ball or meeting people at the dog park. When you lay out on the living room floor, your luxuriously stretch and relax your muscles-your muscles!

And I just want to say I am so humbly grateful that you let us into your life. You have taught us so much about love and patience and endurance and embracing life no matter what.

the ties that bind.

2008-06-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

*black and white study (the handsome hubs), Nikon D50 digital*

years ago I was diagnosed with situational clinical depression. That means things had reached such a level of suck that my wiring got fried and shut down. At the time, the diagnosis was a relief. I had a reason now, I had a direction to move towards (or away from, depending on how you looked at it). I had something I could wrap my hands around and feel and see and poke and combat.
*
I am pretty sure that if were to read the book 'Highly Sensitive Person', I would have another diagnosis. I can feel changes in energy in a room like air shifting through a window. I can get sick to my stomach and blind-lock the shutters around me just by being near someone. I can't look at people waiting for the bus by themselves because I start crying.

I don't plan on reading the book. Words and diagnosis's don't come as a relief to me anymore. They become labels, part of the great I AM and stick there on my sides and face and back until they become moldy and black. My spiritual teacher has no problem saying I AM. I am cranky. I am tired. I am depressed. For her, there's a qualifier...I am RIGHT NOW. I am not forever. I am not all. For me, taking on a word integrates into the whole. There's no qualifier.
*
For me now it's less about what I am and more about what's authentic in my heart right now, even when what's in my heart right now feels tenative and wobbly. I find myself just sitting and allowing, knowing that whatever comes next is okay. The moment is okay too.

Thank for those that responded with kindness and understanding to my last post. You are amazing.

*namaste*

messy and imperfect.

2008-06-23T05:28:00.000-07:00

*late afternoon, Nikon D50 digital*

I feel stuck. This usually means something amazing is coming through and working through a blockage before bursting forth.

It still sucks.
*
I am retreating to my back porch with amazing books and limeade. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I just listen to the trickle of the water feature my husband got me and day dream.

Sometimes I move to the yard for awhile and lay down in the grass and take a big deep inhale. This feels like home to me.
*
I've turned off the comments section of this blog if you haven't noticed. I was feeling dependant on them. I want to write because I want to write, not because I think it will get a lot of comments so they go by-by for now.
*
I am going to give a painting workshop at a domestic violence shelter this week. I am scared and excited to do this.

I dream of continuing to give workshops~to help those around me gently set aside the inner critic and discover the joy in creating.
*
I have more dreams but they feel incomplete and not ready to be shared.
*
I'm scared and cranky a lot these days. Messy and imperfect. Years of people-pleasing perfectionism tends to scathingly mock this gawky-ness and it hurts to hear the derision in my head. My mantra these days is 'there is no perfect, just the present moment'.

It helps.
*
I have started studying to be a licensed teacher at my church which is probably why all this crap is coming up. I had a feeling this would happen when I started on this spiritual journey. I am proud of myself that I did it anyway, even sensing that the emotional stuff wouldn't be easy.
*
I would like to thank the gorgeous sorrow for bidding on the doorway photo below. Her contribution will provide the schooling and supplies for 30 girls for a month. What an amazing gift you give, Sorrow.

She was the only one who bid. I'm not going to lie and say that I feel somewhat like a failure, or unpopular because less people than I'd hoped bid on my art to help a good cause. I am also not going to lie and say I feel whiny and ungrateful writing that. And that I know by saying that I could offend or hurt the person that did contribute or those that wanted to but didn't have the funds. And then I could mess this up and lose a reader or someone who might want to contribute in the future...but I want to be authentic in my feelings...but I want to be gracious and understanding too...
*
sigh
told you I was messy.

much love and sunshine~

color your world friday

2008-06-20T03:46:00.000-07:00

*avacado, Nikon D50 digital*

"Green is the prime color of the world, and that from which its loveliness arises." -Pedro Calderon de la Barca [Spanish poet and playwright, 1600-1681]

I've been on a green kick lately...lol. There is something lovely and earthy and uplifting about the various shades of green isn't there? And the color represents so much yumminess...new leaves, growth, abundance, food, earth. The heart chakra is green. What's your favorite color??

Also, you still have time to color your world by bidding on one of the items in the blog below. All proceeds go to an amazing cause. Bidding open until this sunday!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!

*namaste*

auction.

2008-06-15T05:27:00.000-07:00

*Celebrate Life, acrylic on canvas board. Signed and ready to hang*

*doorway, 8X10 matted and signed*

Someone on a message board I frequent brought up this question: When have you felt "in your shoes".... or totally "you?"
When have you shouted, "This is who I am!!!"

I didn't answer the post. I didn't know how. And I thought that this can't be. With all the internal work and the amazing journey I've been on so far, surely I must have a sense of who I am and what I am here to do. Right??? I mean, this-ALL THIS-must be for a reason.

So I went about my day, mulling the question over and over in my mind. Later that evening I was visiting the petition I've got going and some of the non profit sites that I frequent and felt the familiar pull to help. To do something, to support, to make someone's life better.

Sometimes I resist this pull, thinking, I need help for me. I need someone to guide me towards healing, I need to put myself first, I need to concentrate on my spirit. And my truth is, I can get overwhelmed pretty easily with the urge to save everyone and everything until I get so burned out that I have to retreat.

But I keep getting the pull. And then I get overwhelmed. And then I resist the pull again because I know I get overwhelmed. Rinse. Repeat.

It's the repeat part that finally got my attention. Maybe this is WHO I AM. Maybe this is my soul's work. If that's the case, the next step is then to figure out how to honor my soul's work while still honoring myself.

I have taken the first step with this post. I am auctioning off the above pieces to raise money for the Central Asia Institute. Some of you may remember this post about the amazing journey of Greg Mortenson detailed in the book, Three Cups of Tea. One man's mission to build a school for a village in the shadow of K2 has turned into an insititute that has build over 60 schools in the most remote and overlooked regions of Pakistan and Afghanistan. These schools teach GIRLS. They teach balanced education. They gives CHOICES to the impoverished and forgotten.

And this is part of my call. If you would like to bid on one or both of the pieces above, please email artist [at] dandelionseedss [dot] com with your bid. The highest bidder for each (or both) pieces will receive the pieces (copyright mark will not appear on pieces). ALL money raised will go directly to the Central Asia Insititute to support this amazing work. Bidding is open for one week-until sunday 6/22.

Thank you. Your contribution helps girls in the middle east. It supports education. And it helps me honor my soul's work.

*namaste*

color your world friday

2008-06-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

*green, Nikon D50 digital*

"Colour is the keyboard, the eyes are the hammers, the soul is the piano with many strings. The artist is the hand that plays, touching one key or another purposively, to cause vibrations in the soul." -Wassily Kandinsky

here's wishing your soul vibrations, strawberry milkshakes and golden halos!

*namaste*

new growth.

2008-06-10T05:53:00.000-07:00

*Like a tree in the wood, acrylic on canvas board for sale*

I am loving the roots I feel deepening into the earth lately, and the new shoots budding because of good water and care and sunlight. As I get older, I find it easier to sit with growing pains and celebrate them, bless them and not run to whatever my escapes are at the time to ease the discomfort. You all are part of the reason I am growing-this community. My husband, my dogs, my life coach, my church and most importantly, myself.

I think it's important to honor our inherent goddess selves. I think it's important to acknowledge the creativity and strength of each other, as we are sisters all of us.

so, to you, my sisters, I honor your goddessness~*~

Spiral Bettie's beautiful journey

Butta makes soulful jewelry

Goddess Leonie~the name says it all

Shutter sisters provides constant inspiration

Melody makes beautiful moments

gorgeous goddess art created by an enchanted artist

*namaste* sisters

ugly.beautiful

2008-06-08T12:23:00.000-07:00

*scout, Nikon D50 digital*

I just love Andrea's newest challenge at Shutter Sisters.

See, I love finding the beauty in the small, the mundane and normal. In fact, I don't think it's so much finding the beauty as it is showcasing the inherent beauty of the non-grand moments and places of our life. This is why I have roughly four million pictures of my back yard.

But anyway...my husband. He's a car guy. He's into scouts. Old, beat up, rusty 'fixer-uppers'. He and his buddies get together and get covered in grease and dirt and say things like winch and throttle. And they turn these old, beat up vehicles into their pride and joy.

Now when you're a car guy, apparently what happens is you collect old, beat up scouts and let them sit in your back yard in various states of repair. I could complain and make cracks about how redneck we are but the truth is...they're beautiful. They represent love and hard work, dedication and not giving up on something just because it's not modern and shiny.

And now that I've written that, I see the great lesson in it. You know the lesson-we all do...the one about filling up with possessions and instead putting time, love and effort into what you have. Thanks, sweetie. :-)

color your world friday

2008-06-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

*fairy wings, Scarborough faire, Texas, Nikon D50 digital*

first, I just want to thank everyone who commented and supported me on my last post. I am humbled and grateful for this wonderful community.

and now your color quote of the week:

"The purest and most thoughtful minds are those which love colour the most." -John Ruskin, British art critic and author

as always, you are welcome to play along-just post a photo that speaks about color to you on friday.

Have a wonderful weekend!

affecting change*

2008-06-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

*Keely, Nikon D50 digital*

I was reading an article in Oprah's magazine about the link between domestic violence and animal abuse. Being an animal lover, it hit home for me of course but I didn't realize how much until I started trying to explain the article to the hubs and burst into tears.

Did you know that 71% of battered women report that their pets have either been threatened, harmed or killed by their partner? Since many women's shelters can't place animals or do not work in conjunction with animal shelters, many battered women have reported that they delayed leaving their situation out of fear for their animal's lives.

Honestly, I don't blame them. If I was in a harmful situation, there is no way in flaming hell I would leave my dogs to be brutalized. I'd sleep in my car before allowing them to be harmed. And that's just the point-sometimes that's what women do to escape, denying themselves care they need for their animals because of the lack of options that include both women and their pets.

Currently several states have enacted legislation that allows judges to include pets on protection orders in domestic violence cases. My state, Texas, is not one of them. I am working to change this. If you live in Texas or know someone in Texas, please consider signing or passing along the below petition. Help me help women in domestic violence and the pets that are often their last lifeline:

petition to include pets in protection orders

Thank you.

color your world friday

2008-05-30T15:25:00.000-07:00

*flowery toesy-toes, Nikon D50 digital*

"The true colour of life is the colour of the body, the colour of the covered red, the implicit and not explicit red of the living heart and the pulses. It is the modest colour of the unpublished blood." - Alice Meynell

time for another edition of color your world friday. All are welcome to play along ~just post your color smiles every friday!

here's wishing you a day of glitter flowers, vibrant red and daisy necklaces.

*smooches*

names.

2008-05-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

*dandelion, Nikon D50 digital*

I love funky, fun blog names, one’s that invoke whimsy and a hint of personality or cause me to wonder to the origin of the title. Names like this one and this one and this one. Oh, and this one.

This blog went through several name incarnations before I settled on the one above. Names are important. In some native American and celtic cultures (and probably others), a person is given several names to represent milestones in their life and often, one name (or several) are secret. To know the secret name is to have power over that person.

Now, I won’t let you know my secret name (and I do have one) but you may be wondering why dandelion seeds??? Well, I’ll tell you.

One Sunday morning I was enjoying a leisurely breakfast of cookies and dr pepper and watching Wayne Dyer on PBS. I love me some Wayne Dyer. During the lecture he was speaking about emotions and how we interact with each other and he made this analogy: if you have dandelions that you hate in your yard, if you go out and hit them with a shovel, all you do is splatter dandelion seeds all over the yard. The point being, of course, that if we respond violently to something we don’t like in another person or ourselves, we get more of what we don’t like. Now, me, I loved dandelions as a kid. I used to rub the yellow flowers on my chin to make it a sunny yellow and happily blow the fuzzy balls of seeds all over our yard. When someone told me dandelions were actually weeds, I was crushed. That name~weed~had power, you see and that power represented ugly, worthless.

Here's the thing about power, though, and this is important. Names have power, yes. But we don't necessarily have to accept the power given to a name by the anonymous them. We can give our own power to ourselves, to a name. That’s why I choose the name I did for my blog~for dandelions are beautiful to me and they represent nature and love and innocence and fun. My hope is that my little blog corner of the world will spread love and fun and nature and innocence like the dandelions that grow rampanant in my yard.

*Namaste*

memorial.

2008-05-26T05:50:00.000-07:00

*flag, Nikon D50 digital*

I was talking to my ex-husband once, long after we'd split but prior to finding my wonderful Mr. Right, about how awful I'd behaved during our relationship and divorce. He was in the army when we married at 19 and we just didn't know how to deal with each other, the time apart, our fears and our growing selves. Ultimately we split and for a long time, didn't speak as figured out how to navigate our separate paths. However, years later, I still carried shame for my contributions to our divorce, even though we both agreed it ended up being a blessing for both of us. He said, you know in a way you got drafted. You didn't ask for this life (as an army wife) and you never wanted it and I think you did the best you could under tough circumstances. Let go, Brandi, it's okay.

Let go. It's okay.

I think about that kind forgiveness and wisdom that comes from a compassionate heart deep within (though he'd never, ever admit it) as he navigates his way through the next experiences of his life as a soldier in Iraq. It may seem weird to talk about my ex in a world filled with the love of my husband and my dogs and my art and all..to be honest, I feel a little guilty about it.

But I'm also worried for him, for all our brothers and sisters fighting a fight that I'm not sure has anything to do with true warrior ideals. Ideals like community and family good. Compassion. Honor. I pray for them and their families, hearts breaking open on cracked, scarred earth or by silent phones or in halting letters.

I honor all our warriors today. I invite you to do the same by taking a moment to read a true Warrior's Tale. It's time to tell our warriors that they are doing the best they can under tough circumstances. That it's okay.

*namaste*

p.s. Thank you Kiki for pointing me towards Yes! Magazine.

color your world friday

2008-05-23T05:11:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.”-Douglas Pagels

So I talked about Crazy Color Thursday forever ago and then promptly forgot about it.

My bad!!

Well, I'm back-on a friday instead-with some crazy color in the form of my snap dragons and quote to share. Have a fabulous holiday weekend and namaste.

the whole happiness thing

2008-05-21T17:17:00.000-07:00

*Celebrate Life, acrylic on canvas, for sale*

the last few days I've been feeling cranky, full and overwhelmed. I find that this sometimes happens as I shed more and more-those old layers put up a fight. So I haven't felt like writing about the Dao lately but I figure this is exactly what I need. Because it's all about focus right??? RIGHT??? :-)

The third verse:
putting a value on status
will create contentiousness
if you overvalue possessions
people begin to steal
by not displaying what is desirable, you will
cause the people's hearts to remain undisturbed
the sage governs
by emptying minds and hearts
by weakening ambitions and strengthening bones.
practice not doing...
when action is pure and selfless,
everything settles into it's own perfect place.

Now, this may be completely bass-akwards but what I really took from this passage was that all our moments are a blip in the screen. No matter how big I made my wedding day or how big I make that slight from a coworker, it's all still a speck of dust in the grand cosmos. Hell, specks of dust are bigger than my moments.

The seemingly comforting idea that hey, that crappy day is really nothing used to rub me the wrong way. Because I knew, even if I didn't want to admit it, that 'crappy' was a label I had assigned to it and if my crappy day is really nothing, then so is my great day. It's all energy after all.

What slid through me like warm rays of sun when reading this verse was that the smallness of our moments is what makes them so powerful on a personal level. If it all won't matter in a 100 years-none of it-then why not fill it with what I want?? Just because that's WHAT I WANT.

So I invite into my life, moment after moment filled with joy, laughter, yoga, butterflies, prosperity, health, sunbeams, healing, naps with dogs, friendship, bare feet in the earth, mangos, passion, sensuality...

I could go on. We all could. We all could decide that since it doesn't matter, we may as well move with joy.

*namaste*

p.s. I find that just admitting I'm cranky helps ease the crankiness
p.p.s. I find that when I make decisions-like to let more joy in, the universe gives me plenty of opportunities to CHOOSE joy...lol. The universe is hilarious like that. ;-)

done.

2008-05-19T15:23:00.000-07:00

*Spread Love, acrylic on canvas board*

You know, as I read more and more, I realize the power of focus. I have truly come to understand that what we focus on, what we talk about becomes bigger and bigger, more and more.

I think this happens at a personal level and at a global level. I live in Texas and while our news is story after story of how bad the economy is, my city is actually one of three major cities in texas that continues to experience economic growth. Of course I am not saying that just because my city experienced growth others aren't in trouble, but ya'll, I had to hunt for that info. There seems to be little focus on most main stream mediums on the good or even, how we can create good when things aren't.

I decided the other day that I am done with focusing on what's wrong because when I do, I find more and more of it until I am overwhelmed and cranky. I heard a story once where Mother Theresa was asked to join a march against war. She said no, but that she would gladly join a march FOR peace. That really resonated with me and from this moment on, I strive to remember that lesson in focus. Let's find what's good and create more of that instead of bemoaning what's wrong.

for example, did you know~

* that just by doing an internet search, you can raise money for worthy causes??? Good Search is a search engine powered by yahoo where they donate one penny to your cause of choice each time you do a search. May not seem like much but I've already raised about $80 for weim rescue without even really thinking about it.

* The Good News Network shares all the wonderful happenings in the world today

* That this man single-handedly started an organization that has now built over 50 schools in the remote regions of the middle east

What wonder and joy and hope can you spread today???

Judgement of beauty

2008-05-13T10:10:00.001-07:00

*Sikh dancer, Global Music Celebration, Nikon D50 digital*

If you scroll down to the diving in post, you'll notice I've added a little more to my original thoughts. For those that don't know what 'Change your thoughts, Change your life' is about, it is Dr Wayne Dyer's take on the Tao Te Ching (pronounced Dao De Ching), an ancient chinese text written by Lau-Tzu. Hailed by many as the ultimate in spiritual writing, Dyer takes each verse and shares a chapter on his interpretations, thoughts and then challenges us to do the Dao now with exercises designed to get us out of headspace and into divine source.

Anywho, my attempt will be to post about each chapter as I read it. I am following Dr Dyer's pattern and reviewing a chapter ever three to four days, allowing myself to really contemplate and practice the teachings within.

Diving In was my thoughts on the first verse of the Tao.

The second verse as outlined in the book, 'Change your thoughts, Change your life',is:
Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty,
only because there is ugliness
All can know good as good only because there is evil.

Being and nonbeing produce each other.
The difficult is born of the easy.
Long is defined by short, the high by the low.
Before and after go along with each other.

So the sage lives openly with apparent duality
and paradoxical unity.
The sage can act without effort
and teach without words.
Nurturing things without possessing them,
he works, but not for rewards;
he competes, but not for results.

When the work is done, it is forgotten.
That is why it lasts forever.

What really stuck out for me was the idea that we only know beauty because we know ugly. So it brings up these questions in me: Am I then called to be more appreciative of the ugly, the painful, the lonely and the mistreated because I am then able to embrace and appreciate more fully the beauty and joy and happiness and love?? Or is it a call to stop with the labeling? People look the way they look, no judgement needed. Actions from others are just actions, we don't have to take them in to ourselves. Words are simply sounds on the air, we add their meaning based on what our experiences are. If things are just the way they are, without the meanings and judgements I apply to them, how would I act differently?

Heavy stuff huh?? Would love to know your thoughts!

*namaste*

Hear me roar~

2008-05-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

*black and white me, Nikon D50 digital*

I am woman

I have muscles developed from caring for mine
I have some grey hairs now,
from living fully this life so far
I have curves that may one day support a child
And lines from stretching free of expectations
I have depth in my eyes
And my smile curves knowingly
I care and I cry and I crave
And most importantly I believe
In me and mine
And I support
You and yours
I have been cold and hungry and wet
But I have never been broken
And still in those dark times
Had strength to offer my shoulder if needed
I am a well and I am the mountain
I am of this earth air fire water
I see you in me and me in you
I inhabit my days and celebrate my breath
I drink deep from this cup
And wipe the juice away with the back of my hand
I am joy
I am sorrow
I am a faceted jewel
I am God.

I am woman

copyright Brandi R 2008

diving in~

2008-05-07T18:09:00.000-07:00

*heart leaves, Nikon D50 digital*

"the more I see the less I know the more I like to let it go"~Red Hot Chili Peppers

So what does allowing mean to you??? I contemplate this as I finally dive into Change your thoughts, Change your life.

Somethings I am discovering of allowing for myself:
* it does not equal TOLERATING. Allowing does not mean sitting idle while a child gets beaten or while someone mistreats us.
* it means getting conntected to our source (whatever that looks like to you) and trusting that source.
* it means listening
* it means being within the flow of the universe, not being your own personal UNIVERSE.
* it means saying 'wouldn't it be nice' rather than 'right effing now!'

edited~I have now included the first verse of the Tao Te Ching (pronounced Dao De Ching) as shown in the Book, 'Change your thoughts, Change your life by Wayne Dyer' for your perusal:

The Tao that can be told
is not the eternal Tao
The name that can be named
is not the eternal name

The Tao is both named and nameless
As nameless it is the origin of all things
as named it is the Mother of 10,000 things

Ever desireless, one can see the mystery;
every desiring, one sees only the manifestations
And the mystery itself is the doorway
to all understanding

I would love to know your thoughts....

Dandelion seeds

I've moved...

creative sunday:: doing stuff that scares you

my take on joy and grief

Joy Rebels:: Your first mission

joy rebel faq

I feel obligated to warn you that I'm gathering an army

a joy dialogue

creative sunday:: when art becomes play

ways to be a joy rebel, an unscientific experiment

mantra monday:: be a joy rebel

creative sunday:: art and self esteem

trying to find my voice

kids, mommy wants to tell you a story about when she was cool...

Creative sunday:: be a rebel

getting it out

creative sunday:: a word on art

results are in:: I choose joy

Ma’am we regret to inform you your humor has been kidnapped by an angst ridden teen

2009:: five days in review

2008, its been real

a square peg in a round hole:: mantra mondays

puking and positivity, a christmas story.

a merry christmas to all....

an anniversary of an entirely different sort

random loveliness

dance confidently in dreamland

the obligatory about me post

in the end, all we have is each other

no more of this playing small crap

check me out!!!!

First Monday

instrument of celebration

giving love

what are you an instrument of???

celebrating...

change

demanding to be talked about

gorgeous*goddess*goodness

affirming

life is delicious (and other things)

intention buddy

recent awesomeness

practicing boredom

lesson for the week*

world watching

Breathing

sacred sunday::feeling the feelings

*celebrate your world friday*

random snippets..

sacred sunday::being a girl

*color your world friday*

A vote for Michele is a vote for you

one year.

color your world friday::the trip

relaxed

*color your world friday*

Don't forget...

*sacred sunday* clinging stubbornly to positivity

*color your world friday*

art, magic, photo, play

*sacred sunday* course corrections

*color your world friday*

church

gifts

color your world any day*

*color your world friday*

confetti

soul*shine

*color your world friday*

just let go

sometimes you just need to be sad...

*color your world friday*

actually it's....

road trip.

no seriously...

a moment

dream big

*color your world friday*

an evening stroll~

gorgeousgoddessgoodness

celebrate your world friday

color your world friday

color your world friday

sacred sunday clinging stubbornly to positivity

color your world friday

sacred sunday course corrections

color your world friday

color your world friday

color your world friday

color your world friday

color your world friday

color your world friday

color your world friday

color your world friday

color your world friday

color your world friday

color your world friday